Saturday, June 1, 2013

60. 30 Beats

Julie (Condola Rashad) is a high school student (?), maybe in college, that is a still a virgin.  And sick of waiting around for the right moment, she decides to take things into her own hands.  She goes over to Adam's (Justin Kirk) apartment.  I'm pretty sure Adam use to be her sister's teacher but whatever.  She comes right out and asks him to take her virginity and like any man with nothing better to do he agrees.  

Afterwards Adam has trouble getting it up with other girls.  He asks around and when desperate times call for desperate measures ends up going to a psychic named Erika (Jennifer Tilly).  When he doesn't take her card reading abilities seriously she steps up her game and says she may now a remedy to help is "wounded sword".  He agrees and after rubbing strange oils and herbs over his junk, she tells him to imagine the two of them doing something sexual.  It seems to work because then they have sex.  

The next day he leaves and since Erika doesn't have any clients around she calls her booty call Diego (Jason Day).  After they too do the dead, he confesses that he is in love.  But not with her.  With a woman he has only seen but hasn't got up the courage to speak to.  Erika tells him to take blue roses and a lemon to her.  That will get them talking and soon they will become lovers.  He does as he is told and follows her to her house where he confesses that he wants her.  Laura (Paz de la Huerta) tells him she is not able to return his love because she has had multiple heart surgeries that have left her void of passion.  

At least until she goes to her chiropractor Matt (Lee Pace).  Once he is done cracking all her bones, she comes on to him and even though he tries to resist because it is unethical, they have sex in his office.  Afterwards Matt goes over to Kim's (Vahina Giocante) to take her away to the Hampton's for the weekend.  But with a storm approaching they decide to just stay in and have sex.  When Kim goes to work at the Waverly Hotel the next day, she talks to Julian (Thomas Sadosk) who has been staying at the hotel all week.  He is quite smitten with her voice and wants to meet her in person.  She agrees but brings along a friend for support and eventhough she lies about who she is at first, he recognizes her voice and the three end up having sex.

If that's not enough for Julian, he goes and visits the best prostitute in Manhattan, Alice (Ingeborga Dapkunaite).  Afterwards, Alice gets a text about a new job.  A man hires her to take their son's virginity.  She meets up with Sean (Ben Levin) - the virgin - and after lots of coaxing they maybe have sex.  I'm not really sure because it just cuts to them in an ambulance because apparently he slipped, hit his head, and had to get stitches.  But when he asks her if they had sex she says yes and it was wonderful.

When he gets out of the hospital, he is a new man.  He goes over to his best friend's Julie's house and when the conversation of sex comes up, he proposes that they should try it together.  

Ughh.  I don't want to sound like a pervert, but considering this movie jsut revolves around people having sex, they don't show a whole lot.  Plus they gave the movie this gross grainy over saturated B-movie look.  I'm not really sure what the point of it was.  I think just to get people's attention because it didn't add to the story at all.  Well, what limited story there was, which didn't give the actors a whole lot to work with, which ended up with some pretty weak performances.

Rating: *

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