The movie starts with a very comical performance from the classically dressed Mole Brothers performing bits and routines to what appears to be troops. And what troops wouldn't want to watch this duo dressed head to toe in white as they prance around the stage slapping each other. What did I get myself into?
4:34
ROBOT FIGHT!! This just got real.
4:35
Psyche. You weren't watching Mole Brothers perform for troops. It was all a video being watched by some sort of space man inside a cartoonish spaceship. Hmmm. What is this movie?
4:37
Huh. Not really sure what is going on still. Now it's a little girl moving atom like particles with her mind. She gets exhausted and stops. Her robot friend feels bad and tries to help. Bitch don't help me! She shoots a laser at him with her mind before floating away back to Earth (or reality?) so she can finish her homework.
4:40
2 Adult men and one chubby white kid. I can only assume that it's a gay couple that adopted. At least I hope. Together they make sweet sweet music... well music anyways. It may not be that sweet. I'm starting to think this movie may have no plot and just be a series of shorts.
4:42
Buzz kill. They aren't lovers with an adopted child, but rather brothers. Guitar Brothers if we want to be specific.
4:43
Yes!! They keep cutting back to robot fighting!!
4:44
Quick! Next story. This one is about a woman who has two loves. Jogging and trees.
4:46
Another story? I can't handle all these characters. But at least they are talking in English for this one so I can write more. Boy is a teacher who is already bored with his life even though he has only taught for 2 years. He is pursuing a girl that doesn't seem to interested in him. Maybe because he keeps balancing his ginger ale on her head. Just a thought. They contemplate if they are dating for realz. The girl says they are dating but not seriously because she doesn't love him yet (also its her English teacher?! Inaprops) meanwhile the guy just thinks about his records. And he wonders why she doesn't love him? I blame his lovely singing voice and smooth game. Can we just go back to Mole Brothers robot fighting?
4:54
Guitar Brothers again. (I'm starting to feel like I'm watching a nonviolent Tarantino film). We join the leader (?) of the brothers in his tiger room (literally a room filled with tigers) where he dances (?) to drive away the lady demons... Is it 5 o'clock because I feel a beer would help me to understand this movie.
4:57
After a minor freak out (maybe not so minor) the only thing that can calm this guitar brother is the sound a sword being drawn. Don't worry Guitar Brothers, you'll find love some day.
4:58
And now we meet the Vixens. They meet a man, who's birthday was yesterday and sing him happy birthday. They also give him money since he seems to be short a few dollars. What a second. Is this the eldest guitar brother? One of the vixens is friend with the teacher from the other scene. Is this movie starting to get a plot? Nico (pretty sure the girl from before) tells them how the teacher saw a UFO and might have been abducted for awhile.
5:05
One of the vixens is telling a very detailed story about a tree. The other two are LOVING it. Full of oos and aahs. I wish my friends showed this much interest when I tell pointless stories.
5:09
Nothing like a rousing game of ping pong with yourself to celebrate your belated birthday. Luckily a vixen comes so he doesn't have to play with himself anymore. This sounded way more dirty than it actually was. I'm serious when it was just ping pong and nothing else. But she did get asked to a "singles picnic" after the game.
5:16
Not your typical pillow fight that's for sure. They are throwing everything they got into smacking each other. In fact, I think they might have broken furniture. Now I don't want to ruin any one's fantasy. But whenever I had a pillow fight with my friends, it was more like this. Lots of bruising and name calling followed by I surrender. Maybe that's why people don't like playing games with me.
5:20
Oh Jesus. A dream sequence. The teacher is telling that Niko vixen about his dream. He is woken up my a car parked on the beach flashing its lights. When he tries to run he falls because running in sand is hard. Then a strange tiger demon man comes out of the car and dancing to the weird techno music coming out of the giant speaker. This may just be my favorite part of the movie so far.
5:22
BLONDE ASIAN!
5:24
Sirens start going off and he sees Niko (or maybe its Noki? Notti?) dressed in a leather outfit telling him he needs to dance. Instead of him dancing, two little girls appear and decide to dance for him. Anyone want to learn this dance with me? The teacher awkwardly starts bopping to the beat in the background and tries to join their awesome dance routine. They don't seem to impress with his skills though. I guess that's what you get for dancing with adolescent girls you perv.
5:28
HAHAHAHA what am I watching? There is some animated transformer girl with giant Madonna bra boobs. They seem to be having a dance off with the she-man robot winning. Afterwards she turns into a soccer ball and he kicks her away.
5:31
He approaches Niko Noki Notti and demands that she show him her feelings. Instead it turns into a game of copy cat and no feelings are revealed and she sips up her leather outfit over her head. I would take that as a she's not into you sign but that's just me. At least a group of yellow dancers (that's not racism, they are dressed head to toe in yellow) come out of the car and do another routine.
5:37
He joins in on the dancing finally with success and the Niko Noki Notti girl finally lets her guard down and hugs him. But still demands to see more dancing, this time with an emotionless cartoon head. Is this suppose to be a sexy dance? I can't tell. And apparently she can't either because she starts laughing at him. And that's when he wakes up.
5:41
It's revealed that this Noki Niko Notti girl is the same running girl that loves trees. Also we've reached intermission and I think it's time to grab a beer... Don't judge.
5:58
All right. I got my beer and I'm ready to go.
6:01
Is it weird that when the school girl (noki?) followed a fuzzy yellow tail being dragged around a corner I thought she might find a dead Pokemon? Instead she finds a man in a fuzzy yellow outfit with a tail extending from his genitals. He tells her to pull it (??????? WHAT???) and when she does he turns into another person. He then pops out from a door in a school boy outfit that is way too small (I can see your undies!!).
6:04
After 3 hours and ten minutes of explaining to her what they are doing. She finds out they are trying to save some alien planet. In order to do so she has to inject some alien thing into her belly button. This is just getting kind of gross. Maybe its a good thing I'm not watching with my roommates. Once she does a giant... umm... hole appears seeping a puss like substance. And what does one do when presented with a giant hole? The school boy man sticks his hand in it. I'm officially grossed out.
6:09
This movie would probably be an hour shorter if they didn't repeat everything 20+ times.
6:10
Annnd they just pulled a teeny tiny man out of the hole. What. The. Fu*k.
6:12
Apparently they are a comedy troupe called the shorty trio and this was all a story being told by a woman probably one of the vixens while her boyfriend or at least some guy tries to propose to her. Sorry to break this to you buddy but if a girl is going on about a guy being pulled out of a strange orifice then she probably isn't listening and or going to say yes to marriage. Just a thought.
6:14
And now we turn to homeroom adventures. Where a desperate student tries to find out what happened to his shoe before he goes to gym class. Later it's pointed out that his shoes were on his feet the whole time. What a dummy.
6:16
The bits between the stories are the best part. It's like bloopers. That never end.
6:17
Oh my god. I'm pretty sure this chubby white guitar brother has candy just sticking to his shirt at all times. GENIUS!!
6:18
Okay. Better example. This movie is like an Asian Monty Python directed by Tarantino, but still lacking violence. Beer was a great idea.
6:21
Did I just see a baby Asian Norwegian Troll? What is that? Whatever it is, one of the vixens is coming his nose hair while she is talking about other girls in her class to a little girl. I'm pretty sure she is going to eat this troll. And yup. Just took a bite.
6:22
This movie just keeps getting weirder. Now it's two guys with aliens attached them. One of them has a robot butthole and is telling the little boy with him to stick the alien tail up his robot butthole. I don't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. I'll go with laughter. So many strange things don't even have time to explain them all.
6:25
Is someone jerking off a baby alien attached to a "mother ship". I use the term mother ship because it looks like a plant but if the plant was a naked woman with her legs in the air. The students are overjoyed and rush to celebrate with crooked teeth man who then goes on to have a freak out montage with dissolves and overlaps. I can't handle this. It's too funny.
6:30
Man I wish people cheered me like that when I have a boyfriend. Ooo snap. Crazy crooked teeth man is back and having another freak out. Seems like someone is lacking basic social skills. Poor guy. He's just misunderstood.
6:33
DELISH!! -- watch and you will understand. Totally just stole the scene.
6:35
Mini intermission? I've never seen that before. Interesting.
6:39
Singles picnic! Hope you're ready to Par-Tay! Except it looks like it's just going to be a sausage fest. That is until running girl that loves trees shows up. But she ends up running right by them. Oooo. Too bad boys. Crooked teeth is freaking out again. Can someone give him some Xanax or something? Also, leave it to the chubster to always have snickers handy to cheer everyone up. Hate to sound racist but does this white kid even know what the hell is going on? Because I sure don't.
6:43
Please end this movie with some more awesome dancing!!! Woah. The guy actually can dance.
"Better than Minnie Mouse"
6:47
I don't know if I have just given up hope that there might be some sort of plot or meaning in this movie, but I can't stop laughing at it. WHAT AM I WATCHING!?
6:52
Noooo seriously. What I am watching? Ball flicks? Teets (cow style)? Is this really how they practice badminton? If so, she is pretty terrible at it.
7:07
This movie is like 40 years too late. It belongs in the Dali era if you ask me.
7:10
Another dream sequence? This time it's Notti (I think that's her name). I feel like this dream may not be as awesome as the other dream. Mainly because it's just a girl playing a violin in a forest so far.
7:15
Annyong?
7:22
Are they ending on a dance number? Hooray. The dance parts are my favorite. Followed by the strange and absurd classroom scenes. USO-USO-SO-SO!
7:27
And it's done. All I can say is hmmmm.
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