I hope the movie is suppose to be this jumpy and isn't just a bad file.
3:26
Well, I think this is the first movie where I've seen where the title appears in jizz. Should be an interesting show.
3:28
Eww. If I feel into blood and guts the I would definitely not remove my mask. Unless I started puking (which is a good possibility) then I might. Three masked men entered a house only to slip and fall into a body's bloody carcass. Apparently Ichi was here and he was the one that killed the guy.
3:32
What? Who has an alligator as a pet?
3:34
So blondie interrupted Karen's date to question her is she knows where the boss might be. They are thinking that he got killed by another gang even though the rumor going around is that he stole a bunch of money and then ran away. Anyway that first date seemed to get a whole lot more awkward after being sandwiched between the two and talking about her lover disappearing and possible being dead.
3:36
I'm not sure what this waiter did, but his boss just handed him a knife and basically told him to kill himself. Is this going to be another movie obsessed with suicide?
3:40
Mmmm. Are they making tempura? If you're going to be tortured and hung up by giant fish hooks I would at least hope they give him some of that tempura. That would be the worst part otherwise.
3:43
Ok. I lied the worst part would be getting the hot oil dumped all over your bum which seems to be missing a crack on this guy. Alien? Yikes though. How is his skin holding up after being stretched to the limit, supporting his weight, and then hot oil dumped all over.
3:46
When Suzuki's (fish hook man) gang comes to find out what happened, things get a little tense. In the confusion they try and tell the gang they were tipped by a mysterious man and then point to him, only he is gone now. How does one disappear when surrounded by gang members?
3:49
Now in order to apologize for the torture, blondie says he is going to cut the thing that satisfies him (I think that's the phrase he uses). One would think this would be his penis but I guess he is part of the 7% that thinks about food more than sex because he cuts off the tip of his tongue. Just the tip.
3:51
Sorry blondie. You're not like a lizard and the human body just not regenerate itself.
3:53
Wow. I didn't realize it was so easy to break fingers. He bent all her fingers backwards in seconds.
3:55
They inspect a mans house and after putting him inside a TV they find a bad full of money. Some of the money has blood stains on it. Blondie licks it and apparently he hasn't lost all of his taste buds because he knows it is the bosses blood. What kind of relationship did those two have exactly? The man in the TV says he was killed by a man named Ichi and that Ichi's next target is Blondie.
3:59
Ooops. Is that my cell phone interrupting our kill? My bad. This is coming from the lets call them flower power bandits because they are dressed in camo and have what appears to be flowers all over their masks. They ask fish hook about the sliced mouth man aka Blondie.
4:02
If you plan on saving a girl from being rapped you should probably do more than just stand there telling him your sorry and crying. KICK HIS ASS MAN! There you go. He just sliced him half with his ice skate like shoe. Now leave before you make things worse.
4:06
Should have taken my advice and left. The girl he was saving from getting beat up and rapped, well afterwards he told her that he would be the one beating her up now (great line man. works on all the girls) and when she responded like any normal person and tried to hit him with a bat something backfired and ended up slicing her neck and killing her.
4:09
Haha. KFC in the background. Nice
4:14
Plot update. Blondie's gang gets expelled and they are told that basically anyone in the gang is going to be killed by other gangs but yet they can't leave the gang because Blondie will kill them. He is still hell bent on finding is old boss and is torturing people left and right (like pulling off some one's cheek with his bar hands). Meanwhile Ichi seems to be the son of one of the flower power gang (that also consists of the stranger who started trouble between gangs by pinning them against each other). Ichi doesn't seem to be all there mentally.
4:20
Ichi's dad is trying to use his instability and aggression toward bullies to kill all the gang members. And it seems to be working. He kicks open the door and it is immediately followed with a spraying of blood, guts, and even some one's face.
4:31
When Ichi tries and go to his usually sleazy hang out they kick him out and start beating him up. One of Blondie's gang members Kaneko (?) sees him and is reminded of himself when he was going so he steps in and saves him. Ichi is very grateful.
4:33
Oh. My. God. Are they eating Pho!! Leave it to me to want everything they are eating in movies. Even when the movies are full of gore.
4:37
Ichi gets some awkwardly timed boners.
4:42
Apparently Karen is working with Ichi's dad. Or at least flirting with him to get more information about Ichi. Turns out Ichi's dad isn't really a dad but a hypnotist that altered Ichi's memory to get him to do what he wants.
4:45
Holy nipple pinch. They torture a prostitute to try and find where Ichi might be. She doesn't tell but they are able to umm... sniff it out her. Which is gross and really pervey. Instead it leads to Longie - the other half of the flower power duo.
4:52
Whats the point of piercings if you're just going to rip them out anyway, Blondie? Blondie and Longie get in a fist fight and after telling him there is no love in his punches Blondie rips out his own piercings. Then when Longie tries to punch him in the mouth, Blondie some how ends up eating his first. I guess that explains his Joker scars.
4:58
"I wanted you to rape me" Would that still be considered rape then? Karen shows up to Ichi and says she is the one from his childhood that was rapped in front of him and then knowing his condition goes on to seduce him. Then she gets confused why he starts slicing her up. Hmmm maybe because you told him you wanted him to you dumb biotch.
5:07
Hahahahah WHAT?! No way. So that old man that hypnotised Ichi and has seem so old and brittle the whole movie takes off his jump suit and turns out to be a body builder. Hahahaha. I don't buy it.
5:11
The bodybuilder gives Ichi the photos of the remaining gang members and tells Ichi to go and get them. Also that if he doesn't his big brother (Longie?) is going to be killed by them.
5:18
After killing the rest (in a pretty unepic way) Ichi, Blondie, and Koneka are on the roof. Blondie is loving the fact that he is probably going to get slaughtered but when Ichi recognizes Koneka he stops fighting and just keeps asking him why. Koneka shoots him the legs which pisses off Ichi and he ends up getting his throat sliced in front of his own son, who snuck onto the roof. Tear. Also stay away from him when your gushing out blood. You're going to scar him for life. Ichi starts sobbing but Blondie still wants to fight (get the shit kicked out of him) after about 5 minutes he gives up
5:24
This is a very strange ending. I almost feel bad for Blondie because there is no one left to kill him and he is the one that wanted it the most. That is until Ichi goes crazy again, kills the little boy, and is now ready to kill Blondie.
5:28
I'm sorry but all I can think is "Let's put a smile on that face"
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