Hooray a short movie for once!!
1:41
HOW DO I GET SUBTITLES?! BRB
1:45
Okay. Problem solved. Jeesh technology. Anyway. Any movie that starts with a hanging, I'm probably going to like. So I have high hopes for this movie.
1:47
What horrible timing. This guy just wants to hang himself and someone keeps ringing the buzzing. Very annoying but my guinea pig seems to enjoy the noise. Who is this annoying house guest anyway? He certainly made himself at home and doesn't seem to give a shit about the noose in the room.
1:52
Since his first attempt was a fail (or a success depends on how you look at it) he is trying to kill himself again. This time by suffocating himself with a pillow. But once again his timing is terrible and his alarm goes off jarring him out of his attempt.
1:54
Boner alert! Just kidding. While at work or at the library I'm not sure if he works there or not. He spies a pretty lady through a bookshelf. But before he can say anything to her she disappears. Did she check the books out?!
1:55
Is this a themed nightclub or a party? All the girls are wearing school girl outfits and bunny ears. That seems like a very specific fetish.
1:56
"If you f*cked my daughter I would cut your dick off and shove it in your mouth" this was said to the house guest from hell as he tries to hit on/get with one of the school bunnies. Cock blocked!
1:58
Boys are so dumb. Suicide man's coworker or boss is totally into him and he doesn't even notice it. She asked him over for dinner but he refused because he doesn't like fish (she was making sushi). So dumb.
1:59
Wow. This car they are driving in is soooo realistic. Then again acting and driving is hard.
2:02
Bitch! Get out the car. You're holding up traffic. Also thank you library for giving the depressed suicidal man a book to make him even more depressed.
2:05
Attempt #3. He is crouching over a bridge. What's going to stop him this time? Maybe the pretty lady he spotted earlier. SHE DID! Unfortunately she was standing in the middle of the street when their eyes meet and she was unable to see the car coming at her.
2:06
The annoying house guest is his brother. Back again and this time he brought a friend. I'm pretty sure it was the cock blocker from earlier.
2:08
I should decorate like I'm in Asia. Everything is much closer to the ground. Although I would probably trip a lot more. Attempt #4 Loaded gun to his head. This time he hears shrieking. He goes to his living room and sees his brother (maybe with his dick cut off) screaming as the cock blocker shoots him. He then turns the gun to suicidal man who you would think would be happy about it. But he shies away. Right before the man is about to shoot him the lights go out and suicidal man gets the gun and kills the blocker. This guy just can't catch a break it seems.
2:12
Pretty lady (not the one hit by the car) came to return a bag that got mixed up at the crime scene. Boss lady is jealous that he is giving her attention. They stand in silence as they wait for the elevator and the amount of sexual tension between them is pretty intense... psyche.
2:16
They decide to get dinner and have a very stimulating conversation the whole time. Also I think suicidal might be OCD. He asked to go to her home and she agrees. When he gets there he sees how dirty the place is and is constantly cleaning his glasses.
2:22
Left alone in a strangers house with OCD what does one do? CLEAN! Attempt #5. When he is about to wash the dishes he sees a knife and puts it to his wrist. Saved by another woman telling him not to wash the dishes. He asks if he can stay at her place for the day and for some reason she lets him. People there are way to trusting. Or she is hoping he will clean her house.
2:31
When the girl catches him wandering around the house she finally decides to throw him out. But he doesn't seem to be leaving. What a strange man.
2:36
Not sure if this counts as an attempt but he laid down under her car possibly in hopes that she would run over him. She came out to apologize to him though and thank him for cleaning up the place. Well at least doing some dishes the place is still a dump.
2:38
OH MY GOD their food looks so good I just want to eat it all.
2:47
I don't know what kind of drugs she is on but for some reason her house is cleaning itself. BEST HAUNTED HOUSE EVER!
2:52
Beat he didn't think when she suggested they go out to get away from the non stop ringing of the phone (ex-boyfriend?) that they would end up dancing the night away. Dance Dance Revolution that is.
2:58
Did he just jizz in his pants?
3:00
Crazy ex boyfriend who has been stalker her breaks into her house and starts beating her but good ole suicidal comes to her rescue. And after one punch (while wearing just a towel) the ex leaves. Really? Just one punch?
3:06
She decides instead of bathing she is just going to walk around in her underwear. Suicidal is all like don't get a boner don't get a boner don't get a boner! Ha ha. But nothing happens.
3:14
Wow racist much? A guy is checking in and when asked why he only has one bag he responds with I'm only going there to kill someone then coming right back. The woman checking him in then makes a comment about how she doesn't hope he is hijacking the plane (can't that comment get someone arrested or searched?) to which he responded with "Do I look like an Arab to you?"
3:16
Suicidal returns to his apartment. I bet he is really regretting not moving those dead bodies because he winces at the smell.
3:19
The crazy ex has found out where suicidal lives and went into his apartment with a gun. He notices the god awful smell and finds the dead bodies. Meanwhile suicidal has a case of the runs and is unable to get off the toilet. Some mafia looking men also seem to be after him (the racist from the airport). Instead they find the ex and think that is the man they are suppose to kill. There is a gun fight going on but suicide is really preoccupied being on the toilet to see what is going on.
3:21
Don't flush the toilet you dummy! Luckily he is able to sneak out the window before they get to the bathroom. But the police caught him and now he is in custody. The end.
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