LAST MOVIE!!! I'm excited!
7:09
So does he tell your fortune before or after beating you with a stick. My guess is it's after. Since he hasn't stop beating this guy yet.
7:11
"God is the one that carries a gun" - Does that make Jack (one of our heroes?) God? Also, nothing like taking a group pee break. A gang that pees together, stays together. Why is this pee so epic??
7:13
Whoops! Took my eyes off for one second and now there seems to be some shoot off between gangs. I'm not really sure what happened. But some guy just decapitated himself. Now that takes talent.
7:16
Do you not notice or do you not give a fu*k about the annoying laser that has been following you around for the past 3 minutes? Also to the shooter. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Honestly these are like the worst assassins. Good assassins would go in and just get the job done and leave. No regrets. Gah.
7:19
Yes, tell the dueling gang leaders that they should get together and talk things out. Ummm you know thats going to end in a gun fight. Or in this case extreme bumper cars.
7:20
The romantic music and wine makes me think this is where they are going to fall in love. Good ole Jack and Martin. No I seriously feel like they might start slow dancing at any minute. But I guess I can settle for a wine fight meeting extreme quarters.
7:24
THESE ARE THE HEAVIEST QUARTERS EVER! Ever glass breaks no matter how slowly it drops.
7:26
I guess they are friends now because they decided to sample each other wines. Don't take that the wrong way.
7:27
I literally have no idea where this movie is going as they have this wine montage.
7:28
Thanks for coming ladies, let's just leave you here with our broken cars. Have fun getting home. Man guys are so dumb sometimes.
7:34
So now Martin took a trip to the fotune teller. He also shot him in the foot and then procedded to take a group pee outside just like Jack. Is this a custom? I really have no idea why everyone feels the need to pee after shooting someone. Is this the ultimate FU!
7:41
So they probably shooting of used their flashlights as wakie talkies because I'm pretty sure they gave away their location. Jack's group was hiding their leader and Martin's group started shooting all the guards with their laser pointer funs.
7:43
Now I don't know much about guns but you would think someone during this long gun fight would have to reload.
7:45
THEY RELOADED!! As they continue to shoot each other through the wall. I'm just wondering who's going to be left to call the doctor to save their asses. Everyone seems to be dead.
7:50
Why is he speaking English to them? Well after that big bloody gun fight the leaders of both gangs meet up with a general and they decide to make a truce and be friends. To which recieves a slow clap response from the General.
7:55
So some well trained examples (if by well trained I mean well feed) came to the hospital to kill Jack. His lady love was able to take his body and hide it in the morgue while she burned to death. Womp womp.
7:58
A Cripple doesn't make you a baby Martin! Grow the fu*k up! Martin lost his legs and insists now to mope around in bed and piss himself constantly.
8:04
I'm not sure what country they are in now. I'm thinking China. And if it is then China really is no place to be handicapped. No one even helps her take his wheelchair up flights a stair. Thanks for nothing dueches.
8:09
She made too much of a fuss to try and get the boss to help out Martin so now she is dead too. This movie is kind of depressing.
8:13
Martin seems to finally have some drive. He found himself some bottles and uses them as oars to push himself around on his man-made homeless man wheelchair. But first he has to climb a mountain of garbage to prove himself. And I guess brush up on his sniper skills.
8:16
Meanwhile Jack is delievering ice and being stalked by teenage girls. Apparently his lady love is still alive, just very badly burned to the point of looking like a mummy.
8:21
I don't know about you, but all the gangsters I know drive around in Minivans. Martin was waiting at the top of building to pick off the boss but he didn't seem to see the metal pole and hit that instead hnow all the gang members are after him. He gets snhot but managees to escape.
8:24
This sound editing is weird. Just saying. It seems to cut in and out at odd places.
8:25
Injured he goes back to his bring your own wine bar (worst bar ever!) and has some of his old wine, listens to his favorite music, then goes back to climb up the building and tries again to shoot the boss. hopefully he will have more luckc this time.
8:27
This movie is making me angry. WHY ARE YOU WASTING ALL THAT WINE!?!
8:30
Back to Jack. His vain girlfriend asks him to kill her because she hates being ugly. So he does. Then he's all made so he goes to kill the fat assassin.
8:32
Martin gets his second chance and doesn't even try to shoot him. Did he die? Did he fall asleep with his eyes open? Was he distracted by the bugs crawling all over him. Jack goes to the bar and learns that Martin already drank the wine without him (impatient fool). Po (the bartender) tells him of Martin's plan to kill the gang leader and Jack decides to help him.
8:34
Weekend at Bernies! Weekend at Bernies! I is so excited. Jack totally is using Martin's dead body to help be a distraction so he can kill everyone. Awesome.
8:38
These guns are so sensitive. Every bump Martin goes over makes his gun go off. Also how many bullets does it take to kill someone because they seem to be taking a lot.
8:40
I would just like to point out that even though the movie is called A Hero Never Dies both the heroes (if you want to call them that) die at the end.
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