So the month has passed and I feel 3 movies short of my goal. Oh well, I gave it a valient effort. But now it's time to get back to my life. Below is the complete list in order of my preference along with the categories that Netflix seems to think I enjoy. What does that say about me?
1. Barfi!
2. The Raid: Redemption
3. The King's Speech
4. Chaplin
5. Sunset Boulevard
6. This is England
7. Like Crazy
8. Sin Nombre
9. Four Lions
10. Reservoir Dogs
11. The Music Never Stopped
12. Wretches & Jabberers
13. Best Worst Movie
14. Ruby Sparks
15. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
16. Janie Jones
17. Sarah's Key
18. First Position
19. The Gold Rush
20. Hugo
21. Seven Samurai
22. Silenced
23. Griff the Invisible
24. 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days
25. Romantics Anonymous
26. Paper Moon
27. Cinema Paradiso
28. Trollhunter
29. Surviving Hitler: A Love Story
30. The Following
31. Humpday
32. The High Cost of Living
33. The Muppet Movie
34. I Do
35. The Puffy Chair
36. Marwencol
37. The Seven Year Itch
38. The Adventures of Tintin
39. Ben X
40. Break Ke Baad
41. A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
42. Witness to Jonestown
43. The Vicious Kind
44. Tremors 3: Back to Perfection
45. The Toxic Avenger
46. What Happens Next
47. Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu
48. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the 8th Dimension
49. Shutter
50. Grave Encounters
51. Finding Mr. Destiny
52. Love and Mary
53. Ceremony
54. Dare
55. The Grey
56. Deep Impact
57. 12 Dates of Christmas
58. Take This Waltz
59. Murial's Wedding
60. Uncertainty
61. The Decoy Bride
62. The Go-Getter
63. Coming to America
64. Johnny Mnemonic
65. The Caller
66. The Nines
67. Immortals
68. Hollow Man
69. The Big Gay Musical
70. Tank Girl
71. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
72. Hackers
73. Silent House
74. John Carter
75. South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut
76. Life in a ... Metro
77. Mirror Mirror
78. Monty Ponthy's The Meaning of Life
79. Spork
80. The Expendables
81. FDR: American Badass!
82. Pizza My Heart
83. Duck Soup
84. Deadheads
85. The Wiz
86. All Dogs Go to Heaven
87. Senseless
88. Hobo With a Shotgun
89. Norwegian Ninja
90. Huckleberry Finn
91. Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
92. Mad World
93. Upside
94. Sunday School Musical
95. Leonard Part 6
96. Getting There: Sweet Sixteen
97. Otto; or Up With Dead People
NETLFIX CATEGORIES:
Understated Independent Road Trip Dramas
Sentimental French Language Movies
Cerebral Movies
Movies Based on Contemporary Literature
Inspiring Biographical Documentaries
Romantic Foreign Comedies
Campy Late Night Comedies
Emotional Korean Movies
Classic Feel Good Comedies
Danish Drama
Emotional Foreign Father-Son Dramas
Critically Acclaimed Gritty Foreign Dramas
Romantic Comedies Featuring a Strong Female Lead
Foreign High School Movies
Crime Movies
Dark Suspenseful Serial Killer Movies
Hindi-Language Movies
Imaginative Movies for ages 11 to 12
Critically Acclaimed Dark Foreign Dramas
Romantic Hindi-Language Comedies
Foreign Social Issues Drama
Suspenseful Revenge Action and Adventure
Quirky Romantic Independent Comedies
Witty Foreign Dramas
Critically Acclaimed Gritty Crime Movies
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
97. Silenced
In-ho (Yoo Gong) leaves his sick daughter with his mother so he can go start a new job teaching art at a school for the deaf. On his way there he gets in a little accident with Yoo-ri (In-seo Jeong), who works at the Human Rights Center. When In-ho starts his job, he thinks that the students act a little odd. But one of the other teachers, Mr. Park tells him that most of the kids suffer some sort of mental handicap as well.
One day while leaving work, he sees one of the girls sitting on the edge of a windowsill. Frightened he goes up to her room and pulls her back to safety. That's when he notices the scraps and bruises on her face. When he turns to leave, she grabs his hand and takes him to the basement. There he finds the resident director putting a child's head in the washing machine. He stops her, and when the child collapses he takes her to the hospital. Since the student is an orphan he calls Yoo-ri to help.
Yoo-ri finds a note that the student had written saying how she was sexually molested and beaten. They start taking the students to the human rights center where they document their stories. When In-ho mother comes to visit she tells In-ho to just do as he is told to get on the principle's good side so he can get a transfer to Seoul to be with his family (she doesn't know about the molestations). In-ho tries to listen to her advice, but when he looks into the face of a child who has been beaten, he decides to fight for there rights.
Wow. There were some pretty tough scenes to get through. I'm actually a little shocked that parents would let their children act in them. And if I was an adult I would not be able to act out those scenes at all. Yikes. I'm not sure how much of this story is true, but it just sickens me what people are capable of. Definitely not your happy go lucky kind of movie (even though there are times when you will find youself smiling when your not horrified). It's fitting that the town it takes place in, is the city of fog. But this is a pretty moving film. It will make you want to go and protest right now (and maybe hate Korean court). The acting from the children is incredible. And the cinematography was pretty impressive. There were shots that could have been straight out of horror films, they put you on edge.
Rating: ****
One day while leaving work, he sees one of the girls sitting on the edge of a windowsill. Frightened he goes up to her room and pulls her back to safety. That's when he notices the scraps and bruises on her face. When he turns to leave, she grabs his hand and takes him to the basement. There he finds the resident director putting a child's head in the washing machine. He stops her, and when the child collapses he takes her to the hospital. Since the student is an orphan he calls Yoo-ri to help.
Yoo-ri finds a note that the student had written saying how she was sexually molested and beaten. They start taking the students to the human rights center where they document their stories. When In-ho mother comes to visit she tells In-ho to just do as he is told to get on the principle's good side so he can get a transfer to Seoul to be with his family (she doesn't know about the molestations). In-ho tries to listen to her advice, but when he looks into the face of a child who has been beaten, he decides to fight for there rights.
Wow. There were some pretty tough scenes to get through. I'm actually a little shocked that parents would let their children act in them. And if I was an adult I would not be able to act out those scenes at all. Yikes. I'm not sure how much of this story is true, but it just sickens me what people are capable of. Definitely not your happy go lucky kind of movie (even though there are times when you will find youself smiling when your not horrified). It's fitting that the town it takes place in, is the city of fog. But this is a pretty moving film. It will make you want to go and protest right now (and maybe hate Korean court). The acting from the children is incredible. And the cinematography was pretty impressive. There were shots that could have been straight out of horror films, they put you on edge.
Rating: ****
96. Dare
Alexa (Emmy Rossum) is a total uptight nerd obsessed with getting good grades and nailing her scene for her drama class. Unfortunately she has been paired up with Johnny (Zach Gilford), a burn out jock that doesn't give a shit about anything other than himself. When a guest director, Grant Matson (Alan Cumming), sits on their rehearsal he notices that Johnny has a raw talent. But it's Alexa that wants to be an actress. She asks to get some pointers from him after class. He tells her that she needs more life experience so she has something to inspire her actions on stage.
She takes the advice very seriously and after crying her eyes out, she takes the morning off for a mental health day. When she does get to school she is an uber bitch mode and when she curses and yells at a teacher, she gets detention for the first time in her life. After school she has her friend and give her a slut makeover before they go to a party at Johnny's house. Obviously he is intrigued by her new skanky appearance (typical dude). She gets him alone and decides she should get some "life experience" by sleeping with him.
But it must have worked because people seemed to enjoy their rather risque performance which is totally inappropriate for high school students to do. In fact, her curly mop head friend Ben (Ashley Springer) gets all annoyed, feeling she is ditching him for the cool kids. Perhaps it's because he has a crush on Johnny. One night, he gives Johnny a ride home and they proceed to drink a bottle of champagne by the pool. Ben makes a proposition that fails, but when he brings up the fact that he is about to graduate and has never kissed anyone Johnny kisses him. Even though Johnny is constantly giving him the just friend vibe, Ben decides to ignore it and just kind of latches on to Johnny until he caves and lets him.
With a new gusto on life, Ben goes home and tells Alexa all about it. When Johnny is trapped at home, he has no one else to call but Ben to come and pick him up. Alexa, Ben, and Johnny then proceed to hang out, while Alexa and Ben try to compete for Johnny's attention.
Well. I can say it wasn't dull. But these teens are kind have f*cked up. It was funny to see Saracen be an asshole in the beginning before you realize that there's more to him than typical popular jock. The story was told in basically three parts. The first focused on Alexa, the second on Ben, and the last on Johnny so it was interesting to see each character grow during their scene. Ben creeped me out though. He was just way pushy. The best character by far was Johnny. I actually felt bad for him at the end because they just seemed to be using him the whole movie.
Rating: ***
She takes the advice very seriously and after crying her eyes out, she takes the morning off for a mental health day. When she does get to school she is an uber bitch mode and when she curses and yells at a teacher, she gets detention for the first time in her life. After school she has her friend and give her a slut makeover before they go to a party at Johnny's house. Obviously he is intrigued by her new skanky appearance (typical dude). She gets him alone and decides she should get some "life experience" by sleeping with him.
But it must have worked because people seemed to enjoy their rather risque performance which is totally inappropriate for high school students to do. In fact, her curly mop head friend Ben (Ashley Springer) gets all annoyed, feeling she is ditching him for the cool kids. Perhaps it's because he has a crush on Johnny. One night, he gives Johnny a ride home and they proceed to drink a bottle of champagne by the pool. Ben makes a proposition that fails, but when he brings up the fact that he is about to graduate and has never kissed anyone Johnny kisses him. Even though Johnny is constantly giving him the just friend vibe, Ben decides to ignore it and just kind of latches on to Johnny until he caves and lets him.
With a new gusto on life, Ben goes home and tells Alexa all about it. When Johnny is trapped at home, he has no one else to call but Ben to come and pick him up. Alexa, Ben, and Johnny then proceed to hang out, while Alexa and Ben try to compete for Johnny's attention.
Well. I can say it wasn't dull. But these teens are kind have f*cked up. It was funny to see Saracen be an asshole in the beginning before you realize that there's more to him than typical popular jock. The story was told in basically three parts. The first focused on Alexa, the second on Ben, and the last on Johnny so it was interesting to see each character grow during their scene. Ben creeped me out though. He was just way pushy. The best character by far was Johnny. I actually felt bad for him at the end because they just seemed to be using him the whole movie.
Rating: ***
95. The Ceremony
Sam (Michael Angarano), a children's book writer, ropes his friend Marshall (Reece Thompson) into a weekend getaway. Marshall thinks its just a fun trip to hang out with his friend but Sam has a hidden agenda. Sam drags Marshall to spy on a party going on but when they run into Teddy (Jake Johnson) they get invited to the party. That's where Sam notices Zoe (Uma Thurman). When he approaches Zoe she tells him he shouldn't be there. While she is trying to get him to leave, they are interrupted by Whit (Lee Pace). Whit explains the joyous news of the party. That he and Zoe are getting married. Sam, taken aback, doesn't know how to react but Whit decides to invite them to the ceremony and even offers them a room in their house.
Marhsall notices that there seems to be something going on between Sam and Zoe. When he questions him, Sam denies everything. He then goes a pulls Zoe into a closet so he can kiss her. So obviously he was lying. He tries to make her jealous and starts talking to loner girl Margaret (Brooke Bloom). It must have worked because later that night she goes to his room, but with no intention of hooking up. But if she really had no intention she wouldn't have even shown up.
The next day while Marshall is digging through the luggage, he comes across an Altoids box with a very modest wedding ring inside. He goes down to the beach to find Sam but he doesn't see the glass buried in the sand and steps on it. Zoe tends to his wounds and they get to talking. That's when Marshall spills the beans about Sam bringing a ring.
I think my favorite part of this movie was the cast. Jake Johnson and Lee Pace were hilarious, a bit eccentric but that was their character. The other thing that was refreshing was that even though this is a story about a guy trying to steal away a girl, it was more about the friendship between Sam and Marshall. Other than that though the movie wasn't anything special or breathtaking, but it wasn't bad either.
Rating: ***
Marhsall notices that there seems to be something going on between Sam and Zoe. When he questions him, Sam denies everything. He then goes a pulls Zoe into a closet so he can kiss her. So obviously he was lying. He tries to make her jealous and starts talking to loner girl Margaret (Brooke Bloom). It must have worked because later that night she goes to his room, but with no intention of hooking up. But if she really had no intention she wouldn't have even shown up.
The next day while Marshall is digging through the luggage, he comes across an Altoids box with a very modest wedding ring inside. He goes down to the beach to find Sam but he doesn't see the glass buried in the sand and steps on it. Zoe tends to his wounds and they get to talking. That's when Marshall spills the beans about Sam bringing a ring.
I think my favorite part of this movie was the cast. Jake Johnson and Lee Pace were hilarious, a bit eccentric but that was their character. The other thing that was refreshing was that even though this is a story about a guy trying to steal away a girl, it was more about the friendship between Sam and Marshall. Other than that though the movie wasn't anything special or breathtaking, but it wasn't bad either.
Rating: ***
94. Break Ke Baad
Jesus this man was bold. It would never work in the real world.
Abhay (Imran Khan) and Aaliya (Deepika Padukone) have been childhood sweethearts and dating for the past ten years. Abhay seems ready to take the relationship to the next step but irresponsible and impulsive Aaliya hasn't even begun to think about marriage. Instead she applies to a communication program in Australia in secret. When she tells Abhay that she got in, they have a huge fight. Abhay thinks she is being selfish for not including him in her future plans and she thinks he is overreacting and being clingy. The next day they kiss and make up and decide that this year in Australia will just be a break (though it doesn't seem like a break to me).
Aaliya gets to Australia and the two talk every day. But when Aaliya moves into a new house filled with crazy roommates Abhay gets a little jealous. Especially when a drunk guy answers her phone and tells him to get in line. Abhay flies to Australia and gets into a fight with not only the guy he that spent the night in Aaliya's bed, but Aaliya herself. That's when she breaks the news to him. She wants to break up. But Abhay, remembering a promise he made to Aaliya that they would never break apart, decides to move to Australia and wait for Aaliya to change her mind.
Aaliya, annoyed at first at having to live with her ex-boyfriend, moves on pretty quickly. Abhay on the other hand, takes this time to give Aaliya her space but also find out what he wants to do with his life. He tries numerous jobs until he realizes that his passion is cooking. With help from some friends he starts a restaurant. Aaliya on the other hand, follows her dreams and is acting in plays and even gets a part in a major motion picture. When she tells her mom the news, her mother once again brings up the fact that she is being selfish and if she continues on this path she will push everyone who loves her away. She realizes that not only does she want to achieve her dreams of becoming an actress, but she wants to keep her friends and family also. Starting with her mother. She starts to include her mother in the plans and is slowly becoming happy. She meets up with Abhay and tells him he shouldn't resist marriage, knowing that his parents are trying to convince him to have an arranged marriage. It's not until she hears news of his upcoming wedding that she realizes that she loves him and has always loved him.
I was a little confused where this movie was going at first because obviously they start out in love. So I thought it would be maybe like a Bollywood version of 500 Days of Summer. But when they went on a break it just seemed more like a long distance rom-com. It wasn't until they actually broke up that it got interesting. And also a little creepy. That is a really bold move of him to make to stay there and try and win her over still. Even after he keeps getting rejected again and again. I just wanted to shake him and tell him to move on with his life. It was on the verge of creepy. But I was curious to see how it was going to end because she never really seemed that into him to begin with. Just kind of used him as a security blanket thing. But I feel like her character was good. It's not every day you see a Bollywood film (or any chick flick) where the girl isn't interested in getting married or having a boyfriend.
Rating: ***
Abhay (Imran Khan) and Aaliya (Deepika Padukone) have been childhood sweethearts and dating for the past ten years. Abhay seems ready to take the relationship to the next step but irresponsible and impulsive Aaliya hasn't even begun to think about marriage. Instead she applies to a communication program in Australia in secret. When she tells Abhay that she got in, they have a huge fight. Abhay thinks she is being selfish for not including him in her future plans and she thinks he is overreacting and being clingy. The next day they kiss and make up and decide that this year in Australia will just be a break (though it doesn't seem like a break to me).
Aaliya gets to Australia and the two talk every day. But when Aaliya moves into a new house filled with crazy roommates Abhay gets a little jealous. Especially when a drunk guy answers her phone and tells him to get in line. Abhay flies to Australia and gets into a fight with not only the guy he that spent the night in Aaliya's bed, but Aaliya herself. That's when she breaks the news to him. She wants to break up. But Abhay, remembering a promise he made to Aaliya that they would never break apart, decides to move to Australia and wait for Aaliya to change her mind.
Aaliya, annoyed at first at having to live with her ex-boyfriend, moves on pretty quickly. Abhay on the other hand, takes this time to give Aaliya her space but also find out what he wants to do with his life. He tries numerous jobs until he realizes that his passion is cooking. With help from some friends he starts a restaurant. Aaliya on the other hand, follows her dreams and is acting in plays and even gets a part in a major motion picture. When she tells her mom the news, her mother once again brings up the fact that she is being selfish and if she continues on this path she will push everyone who loves her away. She realizes that not only does she want to achieve her dreams of becoming an actress, but she wants to keep her friends and family also. Starting with her mother. She starts to include her mother in the plans and is slowly becoming happy. She meets up with Abhay and tells him he shouldn't resist marriage, knowing that his parents are trying to convince him to have an arranged marriage. It's not until she hears news of his upcoming wedding that she realizes that she loves him and has always loved him.
I was a little confused where this movie was going at first because obviously they start out in love. So I thought it would be maybe like a Bollywood version of 500 Days of Summer. But when they went on a break it just seemed more like a long distance rom-com. It wasn't until they actually broke up that it got interesting. And also a little creepy. That is a really bold move of him to make to stay there and try and win her over still. Even after he keeps getting rejected again and again. I just wanted to shake him and tell him to move on with his life. It was on the verge of creepy. But I was curious to see how it was going to end because she never really seemed that into him to begin with. Just kind of used him as a security blanket thing. But I feel like her character was good. It's not every day you see a Bollywood film (or any chick flick) where the girl isn't interested in getting married or having a boyfriend.
Rating: ***
93. Uncertainty
Gotta get some Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this Netflix challenge.
Kate (Lynn Collins) and Bobby (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is one indecisive couple. They can't figure out what they should do for the 4th of July so as they stand on the Brooklyn Bridge they flip a coin. You don't see what it lands on but once it lands the two take off running in opposite directions. It then goes into two story lines, Green and Yellow.
Green takes place in Brooklyn, where they are going to Kate's family barbecue. On the way, they find a stray dog wandering the streets with her license broken off. They take the dog with them until they can find her owners. They make fliers to try and find the dog's owner and start hanging them all around the neighborhood. While hanging up signs, they talk about Kate's pregnancy that she is hiding from her family. Being the indecisive couple that they are, they can't decide what they should do with the pregnancy. And on top of that they have to deal with family drama such as a younger sister who wants to follow her dreams, a brother who isn't around, and an uncle that might be suffering from dementia.
Yellow goes on in Manhattan where Bobby finds a phone in the back of taxi cab. He starts calling the last couple of numbers to try and find the owner to give it back. He gets a phone on the mysterious cell phone and answers it, getting some strange phone calls. When a man comes to get the phone he is shot down. Another man calls and tells him to give the phone to no one. They realize they are being followed and start running all over the city. Bobby starts looking through the phone and sees an email with a set of codes on it. When they get an offer from a different man to buy the phone from them for $500,000 they come up with a plan to sell to the original guy, who knows Bobby's name and address. They start coming up with a plan on how to get the money without getting killed.
Man those were pretty far extremes when it comes to the different stories. One is action pack story with chases and guns being shot at them. The other a melodramatic story about two people trying to decide if they should have a baby or not. It started off feeling like it was going to be a very pretentious independent film but it didn't really turn out that way. It was kind of interesting to see how the stories paralleled at times but the movie felt long considering it was basically two movies in one. And they were a little over the top with the colors. I think it would have worked better if they were more subtle about it instead of being like were in the yellow story you can tell by all the yellow around. Also, the one story seemed a little far fetched and then they got out of it pretty easy, if you ask me. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Lynn Collins did seem like they could be a couple. But I find it hard to believe that anyone would have trouble acting like they were Joseph Gordon-Levitt's girlfriend.
Rating: **
Kate (Lynn Collins) and Bobby (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is one indecisive couple. They can't figure out what they should do for the 4th of July so as they stand on the Brooklyn Bridge they flip a coin. You don't see what it lands on but once it lands the two take off running in opposite directions. It then goes into two story lines, Green and Yellow.
Green takes place in Brooklyn, where they are going to Kate's family barbecue. On the way, they find a stray dog wandering the streets with her license broken off. They take the dog with them until they can find her owners. They make fliers to try and find the dog's owner and start hanging them all around the neighborhood. While hanging up signs, they talk about Kate's pregnancy that she is hiding from her family. Being the indecisive couple that they are, they can't decide what they should do with the pregnancy. And on top of that they have to deal with family drama such as a younger sister who wants to follow her dreams, a brother who isn't around, and an uncle that might be suffering from dementia.
Yellow goes on in Manhattan where Bobby finds a phone in the back of taxi cab. He starts calling the last couple of numbers to try and find the owner to give it back. He gets a phone on the mysterious cell phone and answers it, getting some strange phone calls. When a man comes to get the phone he is shot down. Another man calls and tells him to give the phone to no one. They realize they are being followed and start running all over the city. Bobby starts looking through the phone and sees an email with a set of codes on it. When they get an offer from a different man to buy the phone from them for $500,000 they come up with a plan to sell to the original guy, who knows Bobby's name and address. They start coming up with a plan on how to get the money without getting killed.
Man those were pretty far extremes when it comes to the different stories. One is action pack story with chases and guns being shot at them. The other a melodramatic story about two people trying to decide if they should have a baby or not. It started off feeling like it was going to be a very pretentious independent film but it didn't really turn out that way. It was kind of interesting to see how the stories paralleled at times but the movie felt long considering it was basically two movies in one. And they were a little over the top with the colors. I think it would have worked better if they were more subtle about it instead of being like were in the yellow story you can tell by all the yellow around. Also, the one story seemed a little far fetched and then they got out of it pretty easy, if you ask me. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Lynn Collins did seem like they could be a couple. But I find it hard to believe that anyone would have trouble acting like they were Joseph Gordon-Levitt's girlfriend.
Rating: **
92. Janie Jones
Janie Jones (Abigail Breslin) is driving with her mom (Elisabeth Shue) to see a band. Not just any band though. The lead singer Ethan Brand (Alessandro Nivola) is supposedly her father. She has never met him and has been raised by her mother who has a drug problem. When they get there, her mom goes backstage to talk to Ethan. She tells him that he has a daughter, but he doesn't believe. At the show Janie goes up front to get a look at the man that's her father. When she returns, her mother has disappeared. When the police find her all alone, they inform Ethan that she either goes with him or they call the CPS until they can locate her mother. Ethan's girlfriend Iris (Brittany Snow) convinces him to let Janie travel along with them on tour.
Ethan is slowly loosing it (not Janie's fault). He is constantly getting into fights with his band mates about the music. After seeing one of them hitting on his girl, he gets drunk and picks a fight on stage. The band breaks up and the label drops him. Ethan and Janie start driving back, stopping for Ethan to play gigs along the way. When he picks a fight with a couple of heckler's, Janie steps on stage to divert the attention and get him out of the pickle. Turns out the girl has talent. They start booking gigs together as a father/daughter act. Without noticing, he starts to become protective of her, and punches a man who was making suggestive hand gestures about Janie, which lands him in jail. Alone and unable to get ahold of Ethan's manager Sloan (Peter Stormare), Janie pawns their guitars in order to get the money to bail him out. In order to get their guitars back, they drive to Chicago to ask Ethan's rich mother for a loan. It's not until he introduces Janie to her that he finally believes it when he says he is her father.
This movie reminded me a lot of Paper Moon. I feel they have similar plots. Man child gets custody of a young girl that may or may not be his daughter and they travel the country together while she continues to save him from troubling situations he gets in. And once again I think it worked. I think I have yet to watch a film where Abigail Breslin isn't spot on with her performance. And on top of acting she had to sing in this. With original music, which I was a fan of (same kind of style as Once). This film just felt very genuine and real.
Rating: ****
Ethan is slowly loosing it (not Janie's fault). He is constantly getting into fights with his band mates about the music. After seeing one of them hitting on his girl, he gets drunk and picks a fight on stage. The band breaks up and the label drops him. Ethan and Janie start driving back, stopping for Ethan to play gigs along the way. When he picks a fight with a couple of heckler's, Janie steps on stage to divert the attention and get him out of the pickle. Turns out the girl has talent. They start booking gigs together as a father/daughter act. Without noticing, he starts to become protective of her, and punches a man who was making suggestive hand gestures about Janie, which lands him in jail. Alone and unable to get ahold of Ethan's manager Sloan (Peter Stormare), Janie pawns their guitars in order to get the money to bail him out. In order to get their guitars back, they drive to Chicago to ask Ethan's rich mother for a loan. It's not until he introduces Janie to her that he finally believes it when he says he is her father.
This movie reminded me a lot of Paper Moon. I feel they have similar plots. Man child gets custody of a young girl that may or may not be his daughter and they travel the country together while she continues to save him from troubling situations he gets in. And once again I think it worked. I think I have yet to watch a film where Abigail Breslin isn't spot on with her performance. And on top of acting she had to sing in this. With original music, which I was a fan of (same kind of style as Once). This film just felt very genuine and real.
Rating: ****
91. Muriel's Wedding
Muriel (Toni Collette) has one dream in life. To get married. So when she catches the bouquet at her friend's wedding she is overjoyed, even though the group of girls that she hangs out with yell at her to give it to someone else (who would ever want to marry Muriel). She clings onto the bouquet, even when the police come to take her away. It turns out she stole her gorgeous leopard print dress. The police take her home where she gets lectured by her father, who tells her she is worthless.
She meets up with her friends a few days later and during conversation, talks about an upcoming holiday break slip. Turns out Muriel had no idea they were all going on vacation together. When she asks why they didn't tell her, they explain that they don't want to be friends with her anymore because she's fat, dresses bad, and listens to ABBA (shallow much?). So how does she respond? Muriel steals money and follows them on their vacation. But, in doing so she meets Rhonda (Rachel Griffiths), who thinks that Muriel is great just the way she is.
When she gets back and finds out how much trouble she is in, she decides to flee to Sydney instead of dealing with the wraith of dad. She moves in with Rhonda, gets a job at a video store, and changes her name to Mariel. She even gets asked out on a date. But things take a drastic turn when Rhonda suddenly can't move her legs. Turns out that she has cancer on her spinal cord. After a couple operations she is stuck in a chair with Mariel watching over her. But Mariel is still on the hunt to get married.
She responds to a personal ad looking for an Australian bride, and she must be the luckiest person in the world because the man turns out to be hunky piece of meat David (Daniel Lapaine). David is an Olympic swimmer from South Africa that needs to get married so he can get citizenship in Australia and win them a gold medal. Although seems to cringe every time he looks at her, Mariel finally gets the dream wedding she always wanted. But at what price?
The beginning just boggles my mind. I don't care how low you're self esteem is why would you ever want to be friends with girls that made you feel like shit all the time. Plus their lives are sooooo boring. If I ever get like that someone please smack me. I also didn't understand her obsession with marriage. When she moved to Sydney and finally started enjoying herself, she was actually like able. And then I have to comment on this so get ready for spoilers. After she gets married, her mother kills herself and after the funeral, David is finally able to look at her without disgust. In fact they hook up. And the very next morning when he doesn't seem regretful about what happens she decides to leave him. Wait what?!?! After all that you're going to leave this gorgeous swimmer that's going to compete in the Olympics that doesn't hate you?!?! This makes no sense. It's not like he was a complete dick. They seemed like they were actually getting along. Plus she was only going to be married to him for 4 months anyway. Why not just wait it out? That girl is crazy! Especially since she made the wedding this big theatrical event (Princess Di wannabe). It seemed like she was just waiting for that moment and then she walks away. I'm sorry I just don't buy it.
Rating: ***
She meets up with her friends a few days later and during conversation, talks about an upcoming holiday break slip. Turns out Muriel had no idea they were all going on vacation together. When she asks why they didn't tell her, they explain that they don't want to be friends with her anymore because she's fat, dresses bad, and listens to ABBA (shallow much?). So how does she respond? Muriel steals money and follows them on their vacation. But, in doing so she meets Rhonda (Rachel Griffiths), who thinks that Muriel is great just the way she is.
When she gets back and finds out how much trouble she is in, she decides to flee to Sydney instead of dealing with the wraith of dad. She moves in with Rhonda, gets a job at a video store, and changes her name to Mariel. She even gets asked out on a date. But things take a drastic turn when Rhonda suddenly can't move her legs. Turns out that she has cancer on her spinal cord. After a couple operations she is stuck in a chair with Mariel watching over her. But Mariel is still on the hunt to get married.
She responds to a personal ad looking for an Australian bride, and she must be the luckiest person in the world because the man turns out to be hunky piece of meat David (Daniel Lapaine). David is an Olympic swimmer from South Africa that needs to get married so he can get citizenship in Australia and win them a gold medal. Although seems to cringe every time he looks at her, Mariel finally gets the dream wedding she always wanted. But at what price?
The beginning just boggles my mind. I don't care how low you're self esteem is why would you ever want to be friends with girls that made you feel like shit all the time. Plus their lives are sooooo boring. If I ever get like that someone please smack me. I also didn't understand her obsession with marriage. When she moved to Sydney and finally started enjoying herself, she was actually like able. And then I have to comment on this so get ready for spoilers. After she gets married, her mother kills herself and after the funeral, David is finally able to look at her without disgust. In fact they hook up. And the very next morning when he doesn't seem regretful about what happens she decides to leave him. Wait what?!?! After all that you're going to leave this gorgeous swimmer that's going to compete in the Olympics that doesn't hate you?!?! This makes no sense. It's not like he was a complete dick. They seemed like they were actually getting along. Plus she was only going to be married to him for 4 months anyway. Why not just wait it out? That girl is crazy! Especially since she made the wedding this big theatrical event (Princess Di wannabe). It seemed like she was just waiting for that moment and then she walks away. I'm sorry I just don't buy it.
Rating: ***
90. Witness to Jonestown
An inside look at the rise and fall of Jonestown, this documentary explains the theories behind the Peoples Temple. It started out with the best intention of trying to create a foundation where people can be treated with equality. But all that glitters isn't gold. It turns out that even while they were still in the United States it was becoming even more tyrannical everyday. If people tried to escape or withdraw from the church, they were dragged back and beaten in front of everyone. But people didn't seem to question them because they performed great deeds for the community.
Jim Jones's started to create his "Utopian" town in Guyana to get away from the corrupt Americans and their impending doom. Here he could have even more control and play into his delusions that people were out to kill him. He made it nearly impossible for anyone to leave and once they did, they would be put on an enemy list where even their own son would want to kill them. When Congressman Leo Ryan and a group of journalists went to investigate, all hell broke loose which lead to the mass suicides and killings that happened from drinking the koolaid.
Even though this is clearly a made for TV documentary (MSNBC) the content and visuals draw you in. It's easy to judge an event, but to hear about personal stories and the build up is worth a watch. Especially as time to goes on, people seem to know less and less about it, so its great that they were able to get all the interviews, footage, and eye witnesses before they became lost in time.
Rating: ***
Jim Jones's started to create his "Utopian" town in Guyana to get away from the corrupt Americans and their impending doom. Here he could have even more control and play into his delusions that people were out to kill him. He made it nearly impossible for anyone to leave and once they did, they would be put on an enemy list where even their own son would want to kill them. When Congressman Leo Ryan and a group of journalists went to investigate, all hell broke loose which lead to the mass suicides and killings that happened from drinking the koolaid.
Even though this is clearly a made for TV documentary (MSNBC) the content and visuals draw you in. It's easy to judge an event, but to hear about personal stories and the build up is worth a watch. Especially as time to goes on, people seem to know less and less about it, so its great that they were able to get all the interviews, footage, and eye witnesses before they became lost in time.
Rating: ***
89. Pizza My Heart
When Gina Prestolani (Shiri Appleby) returns home from college, her father seems to have her whole life planned out for her. He got her a job teaching Kindergarten (even though she went for photography), he gave his blessing for her high school boyfriend Carlo (Nick Spano), and had her room all ready and waiting for her. She helps out at the family pizza place, Prestolani's, where they claim to have the best pizza in Verona, NJ.
Joe Montebello (Eyal Podell) went to New York City to study the culinary arts. After his father suffered a heart attack and wasn't able to work in the kitchen of their family pizza place, Montebllo's (also claims to have the best pizza in Verona), Joe moved back home to run the family business.
Joe runs into Gina (literally) when she returns home and although the two know each other, they really don't know anything about each other. They do know that there is some sort of spark between them and start hanging out in secrecy. They have to meet in secrecy because their families have a long feud that has been going on forever (the feud is obviously over pizza). However, the two realize they have something special and start to fall in love.
Jeez. I'm a fan of cheese (but when it comes to pizza, it's all in the sauce) in movies but this one was just too much for me to handle. People changed their mind too quickly and didn't seem to ever worry about the consequences. There was a lot of exaggerated eye rolling going on when Joe and Gina were talking about time stopping and starting again. Plus they were really dumb about how they went about the relationship. After their first date, they walk hand in hand right outside the pizza joints (why you so dumb!!). Over the top dialogue that made me want to throw up didn't help either. When characters did have a conflict it would be resolved within minutes. Basically the only reason I kept watching was to see how this Romeo and Juliet plot would pan out.
Rating: *
Joe Montebello (Eyal Podell) went to New York City to study the culinary arts. After his father suffered a heart attack and wasn't able to work in the kitchen of their family pizza place, Montebllo's (also claims to have the best pizza in Verona), Joe moved back home to run the family business.
Joe runs into Gina (literally) when she returns home and although the two know each other, they really don't know anything about each other. They do know that there is some sort of spark between them and start hanging out in secrecy. They have to meet in secrecy because their families have a long feud that has been going on forever (the feud is obviously over pizza). However, the two realize they have something special and start to fall in love.
Jeez. I'm a fan of cheese (but when it comes to pizza, it's all in the sauce) in movies but this one was just too much for me to handle. People changed their mind too quickly and didn't seem to ever worry about the consequences. There was a lot of exaggerated eye rolling going on when Joe and Gina were talking about time stopping and starting again. Plus they were really dumb about how they went about the relationship. After their first date, they walk hand in hand right outside the pizza joints (why you so dumb!!). Over the top dialogue that made me want to throw up didn't help either. When characters did have a conflict it would be resolved within minutes. Basically the only reason I kept watching was to see how this Romeo and Juliet plot would pan out.
Rating: *
88. Trollhunter
After a number of bears show up dead, a group of students lead by Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud) set out to film an investigative story behind the deaths. When they notice a shifty individual with a van covered in scrapes, they decide to follow him out into the woods. They find his car abandoned and in the distance they hear strange noises followed by flashing lights. When they approach it, the man comes running towards them. He screams at them to run because there is a troll. They all hop in his car and drive away.
They later find out that the man, Hans (Otto Jespersen) is part of a secret government operation called Troll Security Service. His job is to track down and kill trolls so that the public doesn't find out or get injured. He is fed up with the system though and decides to let the amateur crew follow and document his hunting, as long as they aren't Christians (trolls are attracted to Christian blood) and they cover their human stink.
Now let me start by saying Norwegian trolls are not anything like those cute little toys with jewels in their belly buttons. These trolls are ugly with their grayish skin, beady black eyes, and giants schnozes. And these films didn't try to make them anything but what the stories (and miniature statues in my house) depicted them as. It was awesome. Sure they looked a little fake at times, but every monster movie looks fake. It was a little strange with the Christian blood. I don't really remember that from fairy tales, but then again I haven't heard those stories in over ten years. It wasn't necessarily the scariest movie but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
Rating: ***
They later find out that the man, Hans (Otto Jespersen) is part of a secret government operation called Troll Security Service. His job is to track down and kill trolls so that the public doesn't find out or get injured. He is fed up with the system though and decides to let the amateur crew follow and document his hunting, as long as they aren't Christians (trolls are attracted to Christian blood) and they cover their human stink.
Now let me start by saying Norwegian trolls are not anything like those cute little toys with jewels in their belly buttons. These trolls are ugly with their grayish skin, beady black eyes, and giants schnozes. And these films didn't try to make them anything but what the stories (and miniature statues in my house) depicted them as. It was awesome. Sure they looked a little fake at times, but every monster movie looks fake. It was a little strange with the Christian blood. I don't really remember that from fairy tales, but then again I haven't heard those stories in over ten years. It wasn't necessarily the scariest movie but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
Rating: ***
87. Tank Girl
Set in a post-apocalyptic world where there is a shortage of water, Tank Girl (Lori Petty) and her friends seem to get by with no problem. That is until the Water & Power, who basically control this world, come to punish them for stealing water. They kill Tank Girl's boyfriend and put her little friend Sam (Stacy Linn Ramsower) and herself into custody. They try to get information out of Tank Girl but she refuses to talk. Tank Girl makes friends with a shy mechanic named Jet Girl (Naomi Watts).
W&P led by Kesslee (Malcolm McDowell) decides to put a tracking device in Tank Girl and then send her across a booby trapped desert ground, assuming she will die. However, Tank Girl makes a grand escape with the help of her new friend Jet Girl. They roam the desert until they are found by a group of cross breed renegades. I'm not exactly sure what they are all mixed with. Some seem to be half man half kangaroo but I'm pretty sure there was a dog in the mix also. Anyways, they begin to work together on a plan to take over the W&P.
I don't even know where to begin on this. My mind is all over the place. Lori Petty's attitude throughout the whole movie was that of a prepubescent teen suffering from intense A.D.D. In fact at times her voice even sounded like a child. And she stayed that way the whole time no matter what happened to her. It was kind of funny though to try and keep track of her ever changing hair dos. They kept transitioning from scene to scene with the use of comic cartoons, which became a little too much as the movie went on. We get it! It's based on a comic book. They don't need to remind us every 5 minutes. And the other thing was driving me crazy was that Ice T, who got second billing, didn't sure up until more than half way through the movie. I think he only had about 20-30 minutes of screen time. Gah!
Rating: *
W&P led by Kesslee (Malcolm McDowell) decides to put a tracking device in Tank Girl and then send her across a booby trapped desert ground, assuming she will die. However, Tank Girl makes a grand escape with the help of her new friend Jet Girl. They roam the desert until they are found by a group of cross breed renegades. I'm not exactly sure what they are all mixed with. Some seem to be half man half kangaroo but I'm pretty sure there was a dog in the mix also. Anyways, they begin to work together on a plan to take over the W&P.
I don't even know where to begin on this. My mind is all over the place. Lori Petty's attitude throughout the whole movie was that of a prepubescent teen suffering from intense A.D.D. In fact at times her voice even sounded like a child. And she stayed that way the whole time no matter what happened to her. It was kind of funny though to try and keep track of her ever changing hair dos. They kept transitioning from scene to scene with the use of comic cartoons, which became a little too much as the movie went on. We get it! It's based on a comic book. They don't need to remind us every 5 minutes. And the other thing was driving me crazy was that Ice T, who got second billing, didn't sure up until more than half way through the movie. I think he only had about 20-30 minutes of screen time. Gah!
Rating: *
Saturday, December 29, 2012
86. Finding Mr. Destiny
To keep the chick flick marathon going...
Ji-Woo (Su-jeong Lim) is the stage director of a high end musical production called "The Last Show". While in the middle of rehersals, her boyfriend meets her at a coffee shop and proposes to her. She says she isn't ready to get married and they break it off. When her father hears about the break up he flips shit. When he demands a reason Ji-Woo says it's because she isn't over her first love, Jong-Ok Kim (Ki-joon Uhm). Her father drags her to go see Gi-Joon (Yoo Gong).
Gi-Joon use to work for a travel company, but he kept warning travelers of their impending doom. Needless to say he didn't last long at the company. He decides to start his own business where he helps people track down their first love. And his first client is Ji-Woo. Ji-Woo tells how she meet Jong-Ok in India and they had a whirlwind of a romance. Gi-Joon agrees to help her track him down.
The two hate each other at first. They are complete opposites. Ji-Woo is a total slob that works in a creative field and Gi-Joon is an uptight, obsessive compulsive young professional (or as I like to call a total goober). Forced to spend time together they very very slowly become friends. One night when Gi-Joon is being his pathetic self, Ji-Woo feels sorry for him and kisses him. From their there relationship shifts as they continue to look for Jong-Ok.
The movie was confusing at first. They kept jumping around in the time line and introducing too many characters at once. It was tough to keep up with. But once it got past the jerky beginning it wasn't so bad. There were bits of humor that might have gotten lost in translation and the two didn't seem to have much chemistry until the end, but it had it's moments. Although I was routing for her to be with her first love the whole time. There were times when they set up classic cliches in any rom com but they would make fun of it. So that was pretty refreshing. For instance there was a time when they missed a ferry and she accused him of planning it and that there wouldn't be another one. But in fact there was. Overall it wasn't the greatest love story ever, but it had its cute moments.
Rating: ***
Ji-Woo (Su-jeong Lim) is the stage director of a high end musical production called "The Last Show". While in the middle of rehersals, her boyfriend meets her at a coffee shop and proposes to her. She says she isn't ready to get married and they break it off. When her father hears about the break up he flips shit. When he demands a reason Ji-Woo says it's because she isn't over her first love, Jong-Ok Kim (Ki-joon Uhm). Her father drags her to go see Gi-Joon (Yoo Gong).
Gi-Joon use to work for a travel company, but he kept warning travelers of their impending doom. Needless to say he didn't last long at the company. He decides to start his own business where he helps people track down their first love. And his first client is Ji-Woo. Ji-Woo tells how she meet Jong-Ok in India and they had a whirlwind of a romance. Gi-Joon agrees to help her track him down.
The two hate each other at first. They are complete opposites. Ji-Woo is a total slob that works in a creative field and Gi-Joon is an uptight, obsessive compulsive young professional (or as I like to call a total goober). Forced to spend time together they very very slowly become friends. One night when Gi-Joon is being his pathetic self, Ji-Woo feels sorry for him and kisses him. From their there relationship shifts as they continue to look for Jong-Ok.
The movie was confusing at first. They kept jumping around in the time line and introducing too many characters at once. It was tough to keep up with. But once it got past the jerky beginning it wasn't so bad. There were bits of humor that might have gotten lost in translation and the two didn't seem to have much chemistry until the end, but it had it's moments. Although I was routing for her to be with her first love the whole time. There were times when they set up classic cliches in any rom com but they would make fun of it. So that was pretty refreshing. For instance there was a time when they missed a ferry and she accused him of planning it and that there wouldn't be another one. But in fact there was. Overall it wasn't the greatest love story ever, but it had its cute moments.
Rating: ***
85. Love and Mary
Geosh. Why am I such a sucker for all these silly chick flicks.
Mary (Lauren German) owns her own bakery, with the help of her Pappy (Tommy Townsend). But times are rough and after getting a negative review, the building manager threatens to evict her if she doesn't start paying up. Mary decides to go and visit Pappy and try and convince him to give her more money so she can stay afloat. Since she just got engaged to Brent (Gabriel Mann), she decides to bring him along to help butter up her Pappy and so he can finally meet her family. However, Brent broke out in hives and isn't able to go with her.
Right before she is suppose to leave for Houston, TX, she gets a call from Brent's identical twin brother Jake, the black sheep. Jake has been arrested for too many traffic violations. Mary gets an idea. She bails Jake out of jail and then has him play his brother so she can fool her family into giving her money. Jake's a bit of a wild card and she isn't really sure what to expect, but when he meets her crazy family he starts to see a different side of Mary. Just as Mary starts to see a different side of Jake. I think we all know where this is going.
Despite Brent being like a Paul Dano wannabe, but way more uptight, I liked this movie. Then again I'm a sucker for these kinds of film. The family might have been a little over the top, but the way that Jake interacted with them made them likable. Jake from the get go was way better than Brent. Maybe I'm just attracted to fu*k ups. Mary could have used a little work in the beginning to make her somewhat likable. She came across a little too desperate and prissy, so when you saw the family she came from it made no sense. But the dynamic between Jake and Mary once they are with her family was quite pleasing to watch. I feel like there were a few holes in the plot, or maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention. For instance I have no idea why everyone was drinking pepto bismal at the end of the movie. I have no idea why, but they filmed random scenes in front of green screen and it is pretty obvious. Plus they had this weird soundtrack of like 70's disco going on the whole time. It was strange. Also, what is with these long drawn out, lets just stare at each other while we slowly move in for a kiss, kiss. They drive me crazy. That's the second movie in a row that had one. I blame Twilight.
Rating: ***
Mary (Lauren German) owns her own bakery, with the help of her Pappy (Tommy Townsend). But times are rough and after getting a negative review, the building manager threatens to evict her if she doesn't start paying up. Mary decides to go and visit Pappy and try and convince him to give her more money so she can stay afloat. Since she just got engaged to Brent (Gabriel Mann), she decides to bring him along to help butter up her Pappy and so he can finally meet her family. However, Brent broke out in hives and isn't able to go with her.
Right before she is suppose to leave for Houston, TX, she gets a call from Brent's identical twin brother Jake, the black sheep. Jake has been arrested for too many traffic violations. Mary gets an idea. She bails Jake out of jail and then has him play his brother so she can fool her family into giving her money. Jake's a bit of a wild card and she isn't really sure what to expect, but when he meets her crazy family he starts to see a different side of Mary. Just as Mary starts to see a different side of Jake. I think we all know where this is going.
Despite Brent being like a Paul Dano wannabe, but way more uptight, I liked this movie. Then again I'm a sucker for these kinds of film. The family might have been a little over the top, but the way that Jake interacted with them made them likable. Jake from the get go was way better than Brent. Maybe I'm just attracted to fu*k ups. Mary could have used a little work in the beginning to make her somewhat likable. She came across a little too desperate and prissy, so when you saw the family she came from it made no sense. But the dynamic between Jake and Mary once they are with her family was quite pleasing to watch. I feel like there were a few holes in the plot, or maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention. For instance I have no idea why everyone was drinking pepto bismal at the end of the movie. I have no idea why, but they filmed random scenes in front of green screen and it is pretty obvious. Plus they had this weird soundtrack of like 70's disco going on the whole time. It was strange. Also, what is with these long drawn out, lets just stare at each other while we slowly move in for a kiss, kiss. They drive me crazy. That's the second movie in a row that had one. I blame Twilight.
Rating: ***
84. What Happens Next
When Paul (Jon Lindstrom) sells his business that he has practically been married to for the last 30 years, his sister Elise (Wendie Malick) gives him a dog to keep him company. She also tries desperately to set him up with another rich socialite so they can have a wonderful life together without being lonely. Paul isn't interested in the least bit. In fact, he doesn't ever see himself getting married and names his dog Mrs. Greco (because she represents the best wife he will ever have). He takes his dog for walks every day in Rittenhouse Square. That's where he meets Andy (Chris Murrah), who also has a dog.
Just like their dogs, the two become friends. Well, maybe more than friends when Paul starts to question his sexuality. He can't stop thinking about Andy. Here's where it gets a little tricky. Andy's friend Roz (Natalia Cigliuti) is trying to set Andy up with a young artist named Brian (Ariel Shafir). Brian's uncle happens to be Paul. Meanwhile, Paul's sister/Brian's mother is about to have a crisis because she thinks Brian is gay, but really he just wants to be an artist instead of a lawyer.
This film isn't the best, but I really enjoyed it. I don't know what it was. Maybe just how awkward the whole situation was and the cheesiness of the situations (I love me some cheese). The look of the film was a little annoying. I've never seen Rittenhouse that shade of green before. It was really fake looking. Then there were little things that seemed off. Like the fact that these people live in Philadelphia and yet freak out when they meet gay people. Rittenhouse is pretty close to the gayborhood. It's bound to happen. I didn't like the main character. He seemed to force. Plus he starts off as a snobby prick, so I don't know why Andy would be interested in him. But, I do want to be Andy's friend. Maybe that's why I enjoyed the movie so much.
Rating: ***
Just like their dogs, the two become friends. Well, maybe more than friends when Paul starts to question his sexuality. He can't stop thinking about Andy. Here's where it gets a little tricky. Andy's friend Roz (Natalia Cigliuti) is trying to set Andy up with a young artist named Brian (Ariel Shafir). Brian's uncle happens to be Paul. Meanwhile, Paul's sister/Brian's mother is about to have a crisis because she thinks Brian is gay, but really he just wants to be an artist instead of a lawyer.
This film isn't the best, but I really enjoyed it. I don't know what it was. Maybe just how awkward the whole situation was and the cheesiness of the situations (I love me some cheese). The look of the film was a little annoying. I've never seen Rittenhouse that shade of green before. It was really fake looking. Then there were little things that seemed off. Like the fact that these people live in Philadelphia and yet freak out when they meet gay people. Rittenhouse is pretty close to the gayborhood. It's bound to happen. I didn't like the main character. He seemed to force. Plus he starts off as a snobby prick, so I don't know why Andy would be interested in him. But, I do want to be Andy's friend. Maybe that's why I enjoyed the movie so much.
Rating: ***
83. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
How does one summarize a Monty Python film...
Well, the movie starts with fish in a fish tank pondering the meaning of life. That's when the film is broken up into 7 parts of life starting with birth and ending with death. I can't really go into more detail because then I would be writing forever.
There were bits or parts I guess that were smart and funny, but I started to loose interest after awhile. This is no Holy Grail but has a more commercial approach to Monty Python (in my opinion). Not as many obscure or background jokes going on. Then they had some parts that were just disgusting and I couldn't wait for it to end (the restaurant puke scene). They did have some catchy songs though and that always helps me get through a movie. But overall, not my favorite Monty Python film.
Rating: **
Well, the movie starts with fish in a fish tank pondering the meaning of life. That's when the film is broken up into 7 parts of life starting with birth and ending with death. I can't really go into more detail because then I would be writing forever.
There were bits or parts I guess that were smart and funny, but I started to loose interest after awhile. This is no Holy Grail but has a more commercial approach to Monty Python (in my opinion). Not as many obscure or background jokes going on. Then they had some parts that were just disgusting and I couldn't wait for it to end (the restaurant puke scene). They did have some catchy songs though and that always helps me get through a movie. But overall, not my favorite Monty Python film.
Rating: **
Friday, December 28, 2012
82. Hollow Man
Sebastian Crane (Kevin Bacon) loves playing God. This so called genius works at a top secret facility for the pentagon. He is working on a serum that will turn people invisible and then bring them back. So far, making something invisible has not been a problem. After countless sleepness nights, and many Twinkies, he finally figured out how to make something visible again. He calls up his coworker and ex-girlfriend Linda (Elisabeth Shue) to tell her the good news. When he calls (or more like Skype) her he sees a man in her bed. Turns out that man is Matt (Josh Brolin), another scientist that works with them. They haven't told Sebastian that they are dating yet for fear of how he will react.
When they get to work in the morning they try out the new serum on a gorilla. To every one's astonishment it works. They take the results to the pentagon, but when they are there Sebastian lies about the results. He claims he is nervous about what the military will do with it, but really he wants to be the first invisible man. They decide to test the serum on him in secret because it is against protocol and they could all lose their jobs. The serum works and Sebastian becomes invisible, however something is not right when it comes to the reverse and he is unable to change. He starts to go stir crazy and with each moment that he goes unseen, he gets more unstable. When they try and go to the military for help controlling him, he decides to kill everyone off so he can go on living life as a ghost.
I'm sorry, but there is a part in the movie where they make him a mask and I just can't take the movie seriously when he is wearing it. Reminds me of Ghost Dad for some reason. I guess the movie was scary, but more on a creepy level then a pop out and scare you level. Like I'm going to feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom creepy (he totally peeped on girls the whole movie). And when he found out about Matt and Linda is really when he started to freak out (who didn't see that one coming). However, I totally agree with her. I would choose Josh Brolin over Kevin Bacon any day. Unless there were graboids around. No, even then I would take Joshy-poo. Anyway back on subject. The film was pretty predictable, way too creepy (molester style), and for some reason it took him way too long to die. Classic monster syndrome.
Rating: **
When they get to work in the morning they try out the new serum on a gorilla. To every one's astonishment it works. They take the results to the pentagon, but when they are there Sebastian lies about the results. He claims he is nervous about what the military will do with it, but really he wants to be the first invisible man. They decide to test the serum on him in secret because it is against protocol and they could all lose their jobs. The serum works and Sebastian becomes invisible, however something is not right when it comes to the reverse and he is unable to change. He starts to go stir crazy and with each moment that he goes unseen, he gets more unstable. When they try and go to the military for help controlling him, he decides to kill everyone off so he can go on living life as a ghost.
I'm sorry, but there is a part in the movie where they make him a mask and I just can't take the movie seriously when he is wearing it. Reminds me of Ghost Dad for some reason. I guess the movie was scary, but more on a creepy level then a pop out and scare you level. Like I'm going to feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom creepy (he totally peeped on girls the whole movie). And when he found out about Matt and Linda is really when he started to freak out (who didn't see that one coming). However, I totally agree with her. I would choose Josh Brolin over Kevin Bacon any day. Unless there were graboids around. No, even then I would take Joshy-poo. Anyway back on subject. The film was pretty predictable, way too creepy (molester style), and for some reason it took him way too long to die. Classic monster syndrome.
Rating: **
81. The Wiz
I saw this movie on sale and almost bought it on a whim. I'm glad I decided not to.
Aunt Em (Theresa Merritt) gathers the family together for Thanksgiving (?) dinner at her home in Harlem. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves except Dorothy (Diana Ross), who seems afraid of her own shadow. After being teased by Aunt Em about being 24 years old and never being south of 125th st., Dorothy has to chase down her dog Toto, who ran out into a snowstorm. Right when Dorothy grabs Toto, a snow tornado hits and Dorothy is transported to Munchkinland (which looks a lot like Brooklyn). When she landed in Munchkinland she crashed through an electric Oz sign that ended up killing Evermean - The Wicked Witch of the East. She had put a spell on all the munchkins turning them into graffiti. After they finish rejoicing their freedom, Dorothy receives the silver shoes of the witch and is told to seek out The Wiz by following the yellow brick road. Ironically, they all disappear before Dorothy can find the yellow brick road.
She stumbles along, frightened, and not sure of where she is going until she comes across a group of crows harassing a scarecrow (Michael Jackson). The scarecrow just wants to get down but the crows tell him it's not possible and since he doesn't have a brain he believes them. That is until Dorothy gets him down. After a little practice he is able to walk. He tells Dorothy that he wishes he had a brain and Dorothy tells him to ask The Wiz for one. He joins her on her travels.
They then reach what I believe is to be Coney Island (They had a sign for Nathan's and roller coasters, what else could it be). They hear a man calling for a help and find the Tinman (Nipsey Russell) trapped under a large (metal?) woman. When they free him, the Tinman remarks about how he is wit and knowledge but his maker forgot to give him a heart. He too joins their journey to find The Wiz.
Next they reach the New York Public Library, where one of the Lions (Ted Ross) comes to life. He puts up quite a show, but when Toto nips at his paw he freaks out. Turns out the Lion is lacking courage. So once again, they add another to their group.
I think everyone pretty much knows the story of the Wizard of Oz and this isn't much different so I will just stop there. Although I hated Diana Ross's acting in this movie, I still had high hopes for it. And that may be why I'm judging it so harshly. Diana Ross was pretty bad (please just stick to singing) and she seemed way to old for the part. I didn't know what her problem was in the beginning (other than seeming to hate her family) but I got really annoyed with her frightened expression that she wore all the time. The make up was pretty bad (or maybe it was good considering it was the 70's). I felt like you could always see the make up line on Michael Jackson's face. The set design and costumes were pretty impressive though (minus the Lion). They really took advantage of the magical world filled with vibrant colors yet still giving it an urban feel. They did have a few catchy songs (mostly just the upbeat ones) but they also seem to have songs were people were just shrieking. I kind of feel that this movie could be a great remake. Just make it a little more up to date and maybe change some of the songs up and get people that could act (preferably unknowns) and it would be amazing.
Rating: **
Aunt Em (Theresa Merritt) gathers the family together for Thanksgiving (?) dinner at her home in Harlem. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves except Dorothy (Diana Ross), who seems afraid of her own shadow. After being teased by Aunt Em about being 24 years old and never being south of 125th st., Dorothy has to chase down her dog Toto, who ran out into a snowstorm. Right when Dorothy grabs Toto, a snow tornado hits and Dorothy is transported to Munchkinland (which looks a lot like Brooklyn). When she landed in Munchkinland she crashed through an electric Oz sign that ended up killing Evermean - The Wicked Witch of the East. She had put a spell on all the munchkins turning them into graffiti. After they finish rejoicing their freedom, Dorothy receives the silver shoes of the witch and is told to seek out The Wiz by following the yellow brick road. Ironically, they all disappear before Dorothy can find the yellow brick road.
She stumbles along, frightened, and not sure of where she is going until she comes across a group of crows harassing a scarecrow (Michael Jackson). The scarecrow just wants to get down but the crows tell him it's not possible and since he doesn't have a brain he believes them. That is until Dorothy gets him down. After a little practice he is able to walk. He tells Dorothy that he wishes he had a brain and Dorothy tells him to ask The Wiz for one. He joins her on her travels.
They then reach what I believe is to be Coney Island (They had a sign for Nathan's and roller coasters, what else could it be). They hear a man calling for a help and find the Tinman (Nipsey Russell) trapped under a large (metal?) woman. When they free him, the Tinman remarks about how he is wit and knowledge but his maker forgot to give him a heart. He too joins their journey to find The Wiz.
Next they reach the New York Public Library, where one of the Lions (Ted Ross) comes to life. He puts up quite a show, but when Toto nips at his paw he freaks out. Turns out the Lion is lacking courage. So once again, they add another to their group.
I think everyone pretty much knows the story of the Wizard of Oz and this isn't much different so I will just stop there. Although I hated Diana Ross's acting in this movie, I still had high hopes for it. And that may be why I'm judging it so harshly. Diana Ross was pretty bad (please just stick to singing) and she seemed way to old for the part. I didn't know what her problem was in the beginning (other than seeming to hate her family) but I got really annoyed with her frightened expression that she wore all the time. The make up was pretty bad (or maybe it was good considering it was the 70's). I felt like you could always see the make up line on Michael Jackson's face. The set design and costumes were pretty impressive though (minus the Lion). They really took advantage of the magical world filled with vibrant colors yet still giving it an urban feel. They did have a few catchy songs (mostly just the upbeat ones) but they also seem to have songs were people were just shrieking. I kind of feel that this movie could be a great remake. Just make it a little more up to date and maybe change some of the songs up and get people that could act (preferably unknowns) and it would be amazing.
Rating: **
80. Chaplin
Is it weird that this film just made me want to go out and buy his autobiography?
Chaplin is a biopic. It starts with an older Chaplin (Robert Downey Jr.) at his home in Switzerland talking to fictional character George Hayden (Anthony Hopkins) about his biography. Through this conversation, they take you through Charlie's life story, starting with his debut in vaudeville. Charlie's mother, Hannah Chaplin (Geraldine Chaplin), would sing songs as part of a vaudeville act. One night when she was being heckled, she couldn't continue with the song. That's when a young Chaplin rushed onto the stage and finished it for her. The crowd loved it. But it wasn't enough to keep food on the table and Charlie and his brother were taken away (not to mention his mother wasn't the most stable mentally).
When Charlie got a little bit older he was reunited with his brother Sydney Chaplin (Paul Rhys). Sydney helped get him his first real gig on vaudeville. When that went well, they sent him to America to try his luck. That's when he was discovered by Mack Sennett (Dan Aykroyd) and brought to Hollywood. Charlie was mesmerized by motion picture. At first he played small roles, but would steal the scene and go off script. Then they gave him starring roles. And soon he was directing and writing his own film. He saved enough money to build his own studio. But with the invention of talkies came doubts on Charlie's future.
I could go on and on all day about this, so I'll just stop there. There is much more included in the movie including his many barely legal romances, friendships, and communism. You can watch (or read) to find out in more detail. I loved this film (and it might be that I just really like Chaplin to begin with). I thought that Robert Downey Jr. was fan-frickin-tastic. He nailed some of the most iconic scenes (or just comedic bits) that Chaplin did. Even though the movie was over two hours long, I wanted more. More details please!! Don't worry, I read online that there is at least two hours of footage on the cutting room floor just calling out my name. The only thing I didn't really care for was the re-telling the story with that George Hayden character. I'm sure they were one of the first to do that but I feel that every bio-pic I watch is like that. It's not necessary. Except there might have been one scene where it actually made sense to have him telling his story. The scene where he first invents The Tramp and I guess it might have helped with some of the transitions. But I feel like it was a bit of a cop out.
Rating: ****
Chaplin is a biopic. It starts with an older Chaplin (Robert Downey Jr.) at his home in Switzerland talking to fictional character George Hayden (Anthony Hopkins) about his biography. Through this conversation, they take you through Charlie's life story, starting with his debut in vaudeville. Charlie's mother, Hannah Chaplin (Geraldine Chaplin), would sing songs as part of a vaudeville act. One night when she was being heckled, she couldn't continue with the song. That's when a young Chaplin rushed onto the stage and finished it for her. The crowd loved it. But it wasn't enough to keep food on the table and Charlie and his brother were taken away (not to mention his mother wasn't the most stable mentally).
When Charlie got a little bit older he was reunited with his brother Sydney Chaplin (Paul Rhys). Sydney helped get him his first real gig on vaudeville. When that went well, they sent him to America to try his luck. That's when he was discovered by Mack Sennett (Dan Aykroyd) and brought to Hollywood. Charlie was mesmerized by motion picture. At first he played small roles, but would steal the scene and go off script. Then they gave him starring roles. And soon he was directing and writing his own film. He saved enough money to build his own studio. But with the invention of talkies came doubts on Charlie's future.
I could go on and on all day about this, so I'll just stop there. There is much more included in the movie including his many barely legal romances, friendships, and communism. You can watch (or read) to find out in more detail. I loved this film (and it might be that I just really like Chaplin to begin with). I thought that Robert Downey Jr. was fan-frickin-tastic. He nailed some of the most iconic scenes (or just comedic bits) that Chaplin did. Even though the movie was over two hours long, I wanted more. More details please!! Don't worry, I read online that there is at least two hours of footage on the cutting room floor just calling out my name. The only thing I didn't really care for was the re-telling the story with that George Hayden character. I'm sure they were one of the first to do that but I feel that every bio-pic I watch is like that. It's not necessary. Except there might have been one scene where it actually made sense to have him telling his story. The scene where he first invents The Tramp and I guess it might have helped with some of the transitions. But I feel like it was a bit of a cop out.
Rating: ****
79. Huckleberry Finn
Most of you know the story of Huckleberry Finn, but just in case here is the movie synopsis.
Huckleberry Finn (Jeff East) lives with an old widow and her sister. He came into a bit of money and the judge put it in a trust until Huck is older. When his drunk Pap (Gary Merrill) finds out about the money he kidnaps Huck. Huck fakes his own death to escape his abusive drunk father. He hides out on an island but is bit by a snake.
When he comes to, he finds out that Jim (Paul Winfield) took care of him while he was unconcious and probably saved his life. He tells Huck that everyone thinks he is dead. Jim, overheard the widow talking about selling him so she could get money for Huck's ransom. When he found that out he ran away and has also been hiding out on the island. The two decide to team up and raft their way to Cairo, Illionois where Jim can get his freedom and Huck can live his carefree life.
That's the short version of the story. This adaptation was a musical (and no there was no n**ger Jim song). Despite being a musical, and the story of Huckleberry Finn (which I enjoyed reading in high school), I thought the movie was pretty boring. The scenes were over-acted and only one or two songs were actually catchy. The rest I forgot about all ready. Plus, I'm pretty sure they changed the ending.
Rating: **
Huckleberry Finn (Jeff East) lives with an old widow and her sister. He came into a bit of money and the judge put it in a trust until Huck is older. When his drunk Pap (Gary Merrill) finds out about the money he kidnaps Huck. Huck fakes his own death to escape his abusive drunk father. He hides out on an island but is bit by a snake.
When he comes to, he finds out that Jim (Paul Winfield) took care of him while he was unconcious and probably saved his life. He tells Huck that everyone thinks he is dead. Jim, overheard the widow talking about selling him so she could get money for Huck's ransom. When he found that out he ran away and has also been hiding out on the island. The two decide to team up and raft their way to Cairo, Illionois where Jim can get his freedom and Huck can live his carefree life.
That's the short version of the story. This adaptation was a musical (and no there was no n**ger Jim song). Despite being a musical, and the story of Huckleberry Finn (which I enjoyed reading in high school), I thought the movie was pretty boring. The scenes were over-acted and only one or two songs were actually catchy. The rest I forgot about all ready. Plus, I'm pretty sure they changed the ending.
Rating: **
Thursday, December 27, 2012
78. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
I was told this was worth a live blog... We shall see if it lives up to its reputation.
8:14
Hahaha the title on the screen says "Story of Ricky (aka Ricky-Oh)". There is no way this can be a bad movie.
8:16
Is it racist that I'm trying to figure out if this is Chinese or Japanese? If not then my bet is on Chinese.
8:17
Oh man! A movie set in the future that takes place in the past! YEAH! I'm excited.
8:18
The audience is being introduced to a group of prisoners. Ricky Ho has the worst offense so far with manslaughter. He also hasn't said a word but felt the need to flash his six pack abs.
8:19
He claims the 5 bullets in his chest are souvenirs and cannot be removed.
8:20
The adr and Foley work on this film are just amazing. It sounds so real. Right up their with 90's Bollywood. Aside from the sound you meet the gang of 4, a group of prisoners that patrol one of the prison cells. They seem pretty badass because they just skinned some guys face. Did not see that coming.
8:22
Gahhh! The big brother of the gang just "fell" (and by fell I mean was tripped by Riki-Oh) onto falling on a random board with nails sitting upright. Why was this there? No one seems to question it so I guess I won't either. But it's okay, because he is still alive.
8:23
Teh-he there is a character named Silly Lung
8:26
Ma (maybe the guy that got skinned) killed himself because they didn't give him probation and while they are taking out his dead body (in the middle of the night) Riki somehow got out of his cell and is in the courtyard. Why don't the guards question this? I guess there are no questions in kung fu movies. Only screaming at the sky while you practice your sweet moves.
8:28
Jeez there are a lot of scenes in the bathroom. Hahahaha this character's intro was just him walking and earthquakes happening. How does Riki respond? He punches his intestines out. Follow it with a long agonizing death scene.
8:29
The guy who fell on nails earlier tries to attack him and he punches right through his body. This is after the guy tried to stab him with a nail. It only went through Riki's hand (tis a flesh wound) while Riki went on to break the other guy's entire hand.
8:31
Ughhh??? Is Riki having a heart attack? Or is he willing himself to heal extremely fast? What just happened? Transition to flashback? Memories are painful?
8:32
Man, kung fu looks pretty silly when you have no one to fight.
8:34
This boy is on FIIIRRREEE!! (watch to find out) Learning kung fu in a graveyard seems disrespectful. I realize the headstones aren't marked but should you really be smashing them?
8:36
Gross. Is the warden a vampire? Can someone please cook that steak it looks disgusting!! Anyways, Riki is now meeting with the Warden after killing the inmates. Poor kid, he just wanted to learn to play the flute (that is what he went to college for).
8:38
Jeez. Riki just keeps getting stabbed in the hand. This time by the warden. I guess he is pretty made he killed those inmates. They were his friends. Riki spits blood on his face and it matches his fake wooden, red of all colors, eye.
8:40
Riki found out his girlfriend died and has gone "crazy eyed". Get ready for some slow motion, jerky fight scenes.
8:41
I just realized that behind the warden is just a wall full of pornos. Classy guy that warden is. Unfortunately no blood was spilt in that that office... yet
8:44
How do these prisoners keep getting weapons? A bunch of prisoners cornered another prisoner, I think he is part of the gang. They are blaming him for the death of Ma and want to kill him. But the prisoner with roses tattooed tells them to stop. This guy also expressed interest in recruiting Riki for his gang. Roses then went on to cut half way through some one's face. The warden applauded and then dragged off the wounded with his hook hand. what am I watching and does it have a plot?
8:48
Is roses part of the gang of 4? He just challenged Riki to a fight. He blinds Riki with shards of glass. But Riki isn't going to give up that easily. He found some sort of hose and cleaned his eyes out. I think he just gave himself stitches... with his own tendon.
8:51
WTF? The guy just cut himself open, pulled out his intestines, and then tried to strangle Riki with it. Didn't take much for Riki to beat him after that. The other prisoners are overjoyed with their meager fist pumps and quiet cheers.
8:52
The prisoners start to turn on the warden now that the gang of 4 isn't in control. But when they try to attack a group of ninjas (or what I'm calling ninjas) appeared out of nowhere to protect him.
8:54
Did you go to school to play the flute, random godson? No! Then stop trying to blow on that leaf. It's not going to make noise!!
8:59
The ninja assassins from earlier got made that the godson person told Riki about Poppy leaves (heaven forbid!) so they killed him by slicing the skin off his face.
9:01
Riki gets back by burning down their greenhouse and is going to challenge the man/woman ninja to a fight. He/she seems like more of a match than the others he has fought so far.
9:10
Badass pimp is arriving at the prison. Everyone is afraid of him. This is the head warden. The other one was just the assistant. This pimp warden just stabbed some one's eye out with his pimp cane.
9:12
It seems as if the pimp warden also suffers from random heart attacks just like Riki does.
9:15
I'm not sure what the plot is to this film but Riki just punched some one's face apart. To be fair this man was one of the ninja assassins and he was beating up on Riki, probably was about to kill him. The put Riki in a room with a metal ceiling that is slowly lowering, meant to crush Riki. But his strength is stopping it. So they shock the metal with a tazer.
9:17
The ninja assassin you thought was dead is still alive and holding the ceiling up long enough for Riki to make his escape. Why doesn't Riki just kill the wardens and be done with it. It's not doing anyone any good to keep them alive. They just keep killing everyone anyways.
9:20
In another attempt to kill Riki, they are ordering all the prisoners to bury him alive. If they refuse then they have guards standing by with guns reading to shoot. They put a bamboo shoot by him and say that if he lasts 7 days underground then they will set him free.
9:26
Is this the exciting conclusion? After seven days, they are digging him out. It doesn't look good for Riki who is barely conscious.
9:29
Jesus this movie is bloody. He/she assassin just put a handful of razors in Riki's mouth and then proceeded to hit him in the face with a wrench (numerous times).
9:32
Do they lock these cell doors? I'm pretty sure the prisoners just opened them from inside their cell. And only to peek out and see what the assistant warden was up to.
9:33
Riki is like the Asian Popeye. Just give him some rice and he is ready to kick ass.
9:41
I close my eyes for one second and we are definitely in the final battle scenes now. The pimp warden somehow turned into the hulk warden and it's up to Riki to STOP THE MADNESS.
9:44
And we come to the end of the film, which makes me wonder... Why didn't Riki just kill the bad guys right away and then save us an hour of our lives and gallons of fake blood? O well. Also it's really hard to live blog when you are trying to read dialogue. Sorry that I did a terrible jobs with names and plot.
This film is super duper gory. But don't worry nothing looks realistic. That's probably the only reason to watch is just for that. They don't have cool fight scenes with lots of skill. Just punching through things mainly. The acting isn't too impressive. Very over the top and offensive when it comes to the pimp warden's son (who I didn't even mention). Sound effects were of a typical old fashion kung fu movie. And the plot. Very very minimal. But it was funny to watch the death scenes I guess.
Rating: *
8:14
Hahaha the title on the screen says "Story of Ricky (aka Ricky-Oh)". There is no way this can be a bad movie.
8:16
Is it racist that I'm trying to figure out if this is Chinese or Japanese? If not then my bet is on Chinese.
8:17
Oh man! A movie set in the future that takes place in the past! YEAH! I'm excited.
8:18
The audience is being introduced to a group of prisoners. Ricky Ho has the worst offense so far with manslaughter. He also hasn't said a word but felt the need to flash his six pack abs.
8:19
He claims the 5 bullets in his chest are souvenirs and cannot be removed.
8:20
The adr and Foley work on this film are just amazing. It sounds so real. Right up their with 90's Bollywood. Aside from the sound you meet the gang of 4, a group of prisoners that patrol one of the prison cells. They seem pretty badass because they just skinned some guys face. Did not see that coming.
8:22
Gahhh! The big brother of the gang just "fell" (and by fell I mean was tripped by Riki-Oh) onto falling on a random board with nails sitting upright. Why was this there? No one seems to question it so I guess I won't either. But it's okay, because he is still alive.
8:23
Teh-he there is a character named Silly Lung
8:26
Ma (maybe the guy that got skinned) killed himself because they didn't give him probation and while they are taking out his dead body (in the middle of the night) Riki somehow got out of his cell and is in the courtyard. Why don't the guards question this? I guess there are no questions in kung fu movies. Only screaming at the sky while you practice your sweet moves.
8:28
Jeez there are a lot of scenes in the bathroom. Hahahaha this character's intro was just him walking and earthquakes happening. How does Riki respond? He punches his intestines out. Follow it with a long agonizing death scene.
8:29
The guy who fell on nails earlier tries to attack him and he punches right through his body. This is after the guy tried to stab him with a nail. It only went through Riki's hand (tis a flesh wound) while Riki went on to break the other guy's entire hand.
8:31
Ughhh??? Is Riki having a heart attack? Or is he willing himself to heal extremely fast? What just happened? Transition to flashback? Memories are painful?
8:32
Man, kung fu looks pretty silly when you have no one to fight.
8:34
This boy is on FIIIRRREEE!! (watch to find out) Learning kung fu in a graveyard seems disrespectful. I realize the headstones aren't marked but should you really be smashing them?
8:36
Gross. Is the warden a vampire? Can someone please cook that steak it looks disgusting!! Anyways, Riki is now meeting with the Warden after killing the inmates. Poor kid, he just wanted to learn to play the flute (that is what he went to college for).
8:38
Jeez. Riki just keeps getting stabbed in the hand. This time by the warden. I guess he is pretty made he killed those inmates. They were his friends. Riki spits blood on his face and it matches his fake wooden, red of all colors, eye.
8:40
Riki found out his girlfriend died and has gone "crazy eyed". Get ready for some slow motion, jerky fight scenes.
8:41
I just realized that behind the warden is just a wall full of pornos. Classy guy that warden is. Unfortunately no blood was spilt in that that office... yet
8:44
How do these prisoners keep getting weapons? A bunch of prisoners cornered another prisoner, I think he is part of the gang. They are blaming him for the death of Ma and want to kill him. But the prisoner with roses tattooed tells them to stop. This guy also expressed interest in recruiting Riki for his gang. Roses then went on to cut half way through some one's face. The warden applauded and then dragged off the wounded with his hook hand. what am I watching and does it have a plot?
8:48
Is roses part of the gang of 4? He just challenged Riki to a fight. He blinds Riki with shards of glass. But Riki isn't going to give up that easily. He found some sort of hose and cleaned his eyes out. I think he just gave himself stitches... with his own tendon.
8:51
WTF? The guy just cut himself open, pulled out his intestines, and then tried to strangle Riki with it. Didn't take much for Riki to beat him after that. The other prisoners are overjoyed with their meager fist pumps and quiet cheers.
8:52
The prisoners start to turn on the warden now that the gang of 4 isn't in control. But when they try to attack a group of ninjas (or what I'm calling ninjas) appeared out of nowhere to protect him.
8:54
Did you go to school to play the flute, random godson? No! Then stop trying to blow on that leaf. It's not going to make noise!!
8:59
The ninja assassins from earlier got made that the godson person told Riki about Poppy leaves (heaven forbid!) so they killed him by slicing the skin off his face.
9:01
Riki gets back by burning down their greenhouse and is going to challenge the man/woman ninja to a fight. He/she seems like more of a match than the others he has fought so far.
9:10
Badass pimp is arriving at the prison. Everyone is afraid of him. This is the head warden. The other one was just the assistant. This pimp warden just stabbed some one's eye out with his pimp cane.
9:12
It seems as if the pimp warden also suffers from random heart attacks just like Riki does.
9:15
I'm not sure what the plot is to this film but Riki just punched some one's face apart. To be fair this man was one of the ninja assassins and he was beating up on Riki, probably was about to kill him. The put Riki in a room with a metal ceiling that is slowly lowering, meant to crush Riki. But his strength is stopping it. So they shock the metal with a tazer.
9:17
The ninja assassin you thought was dead is still alive and holding the ceiling up long enough for Riki to make his escape. Why doesn't Riki just kill the wardens and be done with it. It's not doing anyone any good to keep them alive. They just keep killing everyone anyways.
9:20
In another attempt to kill Riki, they are ordering all the prisoners to bury him alive. If they refuse then they have guards standing by with guns reading to shoot. They put a bamboo shoot by him and say that if he lasts 7 days underground then they will set him free.
9:26
Is this the exciting conclusion? After seven days, they are digging him out. It doesn't look good for Riki who is barely conscious.
9:29
Jesus this movie is bloody. He/she assassin just put a handful of razors in Riki's mouth and then proceeded to hit him in the face with a wrench (numerous times).
9:32
Do they lock these cell doors? I'm pretty sure the prisoners just opened them from inside their cell. And only to peek out and see what the assistant warden was up to.
9:33
Riki is like the Asian Popeye. Just give him some rice and he is ready to kick ass.
9:41
I close my eyes for one second and we are definitely in the final battle scenes now. The pimp warden somehow turned into the hulk warden and it's up to Riki to STOP THE MADNESS.
9:44
And we come to the end of the film, which makes me wonder... Why didn't Riki just kill the bad guys right away and then save us an hour of our lives and gallons of fake blood? O well. Also it's really hard to live blog when you are trying to read dialogue. Sorry that I did a terrible jobs with names and plot.
This film is super duper gory. But don't worry nothing looks realistic. That's probably the only reason to watch is just for that. They don't have cool fight scenes with lots of skill. Just punching through things mainly. The acting isn't too impressive. Very over the top and offensive when it comes to the pimp warden's son (who I didn't even mention). Sound effects were of a typical old fashion kung fu movie. And the plot. Very very minimal. But it was funny to watch the death scenes I guess.
Rating: *
77. Immortals
Phaedra (Frieda Pinto), a virgin oracle, has a vision of a man releasing the Titans from their underground prison to destroy the world. Turns out that man is King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke). He is making his way across Greece, destroying every temple and shrine while he searches for the Epirus Bow. The Epirus Bow is a bow with magical bomb like arrows that keep appearing every time you pull back the string (sorry I'm not up to date on archery terms). He comes across a small village where Theseus (Henry Cavill) lives with his mother. Theseus is taught to fight by a mysterious old man, who turns out to be Zeus disguised as a human. Hyperion takes over the village and goes on a killing rampage. He kills Theseus's mother right in front of him and then captures Theseus to be his slave, among others.
While being held captive, Theseus meets Stavros (Stephen Dorff), a theif, and Phaedra, who was also taken captive. She organizes an escape where they head back to the small village. Phaedra has a vision of Hyperion and Theseus standing arm and arm over a covered dead body. She takes this as a sign to give his mother a proper burial. When Theseus is putting her body in the tomb, he comes across the Epirus Bow. Suddenly, Theseus is being attacked by the Minotaur (Robert Maillet). Theseus struggles but manages to cut off his head, but not before being scratched. Turns out the scratches are poisonous. Phaedra nurses him back to health and obviously falls in love with him. She climbs into his bed and asks him to take her virginity so that she won't be cursed with visions of the future anymore.
When he is healed, they head to Mount Tartaus, where the inevitable final battle will take place. Along they way they are ambushed and outnumbered by Hyperion's men. The Gods decide to intervene, against Zues's (Luke Evans) will, but during the fight they loose the Epirus Bow to Hyperion. They rush to Mount Tartaus to prepare the city and leaders for the battle.
I don't know if it's the names, but I have trouble getting into Greek War/Mythology movies. If you were to ask me half way what was going on I would say something to the lines of Klaus from Vampire Diaries got mad at Superman and became a traitor to help capture the Slumdog girl for his new jacked up Wrestler king. However, it was a pretty film to watch. I wish I could just live inside a Tarsem film. But without all the death and gore and wars. I loved the fight between the Gods and the Titans. There were a few odd transitions and at times I didn't get why some things were going in slow motion while others seem perfectly natural (in the same shot). I didn't care too much for the story and I think that girl was crazy to give up her visions. Can you please wait until after the war where all humanity could get destroyed is over?
Rating: **
While being held captive, Theseus meets Stavros (Stephen Dorff), a theif, and Phaedra, who was also taken captive. She organizes an escape where they head back to the small village. Phaedra has a vision of Hyperion and Theseus standing arm and arm over a covered dead body. She takes this as a sign to give his mother a proper burial. When Theseus is putting her body in the tomb, he comes across the Epirus Bow. Suddenly, Theseus is being attacked by the Minotaur (Robert Maillet). Theseus struggles but manages to cut off his head, but not before being scratched. Turns out the scratches are poisonous. Phaedra nurses him back to health and obviously falls in love with him. She climbs into his bed and asks him to take her virginity so that she won't be cursed with visions of the future anymore.
When he is healed, they head to Mount Tartaus, where the inevitable final battle will take place. Along they way they are ambushed and outnumbered by Hyperion's men. The Gods decide to intervene, against Zues's (Luke Evans) will, but during the fight they loose the Epirus Bow to Hyperion. They rush to Mount Tartaus to prepare the city and leaders for the battle.
I don't know if it's the names, but I have trouble getting into Greek War/Mythology movies. If you were to ask me half way what was going on I would say something to the lines of Klaus from Vampire Diaries got mad at Superman and became a traitor to help capture the Slumdog girl for his new jacked up Wrestler king. However, it was a pretty film to watch. I wish I could just live inside a Tarsem film. But without all the death and gore and wars. I loved the fight between the Gods and the Titans. There were a few odd transitions and at times I didn't get why some things were going in slow motion while others seem perfectly natural (in the same shot). I didn't care too much for the story and I think that girl was crazy to give up her visions. Can you please wait until after the war where all humanity could get destroyed is over?
Rating: **
76. Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu
It's been awhile since I watched a Bollywood film, so why not try one with one of my favorite Indian actors.
Rahul (Imran Khan) is a little uptight. And by little I mean has a giant stick up his ass placed there by his parents that can only be removed in surgery. They planned out his whole life and make all of his decisions for him, and he just goes along with it. After he loses his job in Las Vegas, he decides to go to therapy. He bumps in to Riana (Kareena Kapoor), who is almost the exact opposite of Rahul, and she thinks he was sent to spy on her by her ex-boyfriend. She harasses him and accidentally takes his file with her. When she reads his file, she realizes that he is just another person seeking help. She calls him up to apologize and give him back his file and he agrees to meet her in a public place to get it back.
They decide to get a few drinks since it is Christmas Eve and when she makes fun of him for being so stiff, he decides to show her by getting shit faced drunk. In the morning the awake to find out that they got married the night before. They decide to get the marriage annulled but it's going to take some time for that to happen. Also, Riana was just kicked out of her apartment because she was unable to pay the rent. She goes back to Rahul and begs him to let her stay there until things get sorted out and being the nice guy that he is agrees to let her stay.
This is probably the shortest Bollywood musical I have ever seen. It wasn't even two hours long (I'm not complaining, just stating a fact). The characters seemed a little too extreme at the beginning. Rahul doesn't even try to stand up to his parents and is just their little doll that they can dress up and use to impress people. And even though she is just three years older in real life, it looked like Riana was waaaay older than Rahul. I just kept thinking she is too old to be acting like this. The ending was unique though to most movies (American and Indian). It was also a little pathetic.
Rating: ***
Rahul (Imran Khan) is a little uptight. And by little I mean has a giant stick up his ass placed there by his parents that can only be removed in surgery. They planned out his whole life and make all of his decisions for him, and he just goes along with it. After he loses his job in Las Vegas, he decides to go to therapy. He bumps in to Riana (Kareena Kapoor), who is almost the exact opposite of Rahul, and she thinks he was sent to spy on her by her ex-boyfriend. She harasses him and accidentally takes his file with her. When she reads his file, she realizes that he is just another person seeking help. She calls him up to apologize and give him back his file and he agrees to meet her in a public place to get it back.
They decide to get a few drinks since it is Christmas Eve and when she makes fun of him for being so stiff, he decides to show her by getting shit faced drunk. In the morning the awake to find out that they got married the night before. They decide to get the marriage annulled but it's going to take some time for that to happen. Also, Riana was just kicked out of her apartment because she was unable to pay the rent. She goes back to Rahul and begs him to let her stay there until things get sorted out and being the nice guy that he is agrees to let her stay.
This is probably the shortest Bollywood musical I have ever seen. It wasn't even two hours long (I'm not complaining, just stating a fact). The characters seemed a little too extreme at the beginning. Rahul doesn't even try to stand up to his parents and is just their little doll that they can dress up and use to impress people. And even though she is just three years older in real life, it looked like Riana was waaaay older than Rahul. I just kept thinking she is too old to be acting like this. The ending was unique though to most movies (American and Indian). It was also a little pathetic.
Rating: ***
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
75. This is England
Constantly being picked on at school, 12 year old Shaun (Thomas Turgoose) starts hanging around a group of skinheads (now these are British skinheads, so they don't seem as violent and hateful as the skinheads I think of. They seem more like hipsters) lead by Woody (Joseph Gilgun). Woody takes Shaun under his wing and invites him to become part of his gang.
They throw a party later and Shaun, who is smitten with an older girl named Smell (Rosamund Hanson), goes out to the shed with her to make out (and then some). While he is outside, Combo (Stephen Graham) crashes the party. Combo is out of jail and is an old friend of Woody. At first everyone is happy to see him, until he starts making racial comments that offend Milky (Andrew Shim), who is black.
Combo gets the group together later and starts on a rant about how the country is going to shit and they need to do something to stop it. He brings up the Falklands War and how it is a stupid pointless war, which offends Shaun. Shaun's father died in that war and when he hears Combo bad-mouthing it, he takes a swing at him. Combo is impressed and sympathizes with Shaun. He tries to take over the group by making them choose if they want to take a stand and bring back England to it's rightful people. The group splits, half going with Combo and half with Woody.
Shaun chooses to go with Combo in hopes to make his father proud. He starts to look up to Combo as a father figure. They are pretty much inseparable. One day, Combo gets Woody's girlfriend Lol (Vicky McClure) alone to talk. He confesses his love for her and how the thought of her got him through his prison time. In return, she says that the night they spent together was the worst night of her life. Upset, Combo goes to Milky to buy weed. Although it starts out friendly enough, things take a drastic turn when Milky starts talking about his family.
I've been wanting to see this film ever since my old roommate showed me half of This is England '88 and was scared by the creepy deep breather (you'll have to watch to find out what I'm talking about). And since I forgot most of what '88 contained, it was great to see this from a fresh perspective. The relationship between Shaun and Woody/Combo was great. You can see the admiration he has for these characters shining through his eyes. Shaun in general was an amazing character from the get go. Sure he was kind of funny looking and a loner and a little bit of dweeb, but this kid won't take shit from anyone. I loved watching him the entire time. It was a little awkward at times though. Like his relationship with Smell. I have no idea how old she is suppose to be, but when you're more then a head taller than your boyfriend it's just weird. There were great bits of dialogue in there and the people seemed so genuine that I wanted to be their friends. Well, I wanted to be part of Woody's crowd anyway. And since you immediately like the characters, you are right there in the story with them and feel what they are feeling. I wish I knew more about Britain's history so I could understand all the little cultural trademarks or statements or even about the Falkland Wars (I feel dumb). The cinematography was great. They had beautiful wide shots that showcased a different look to England that we may not be familiar with. When they say that film is a visual storyteller, they are right and this movie did not disappoint.
Rating: ****
They throw a party later and Shaun, who is smitten with an older girl named Smell (Rosamund Hanson), goes out to the shed with her to make out (and then some). While he is outside, Combo (Stephen Graham) crashes the party. Combo is out of jail and is an old friend of Woody. At first everyone is happy to see him, until he starts making racial comments that offend Milky (Andrew Shim), who is black.
Combo gets the group together later and starts on a rant about how the country is going to shit and they need to do something to stop it. He brings up the Falklands War and how it is a stupid pointless war, which offends Shaun. Shaun's father died in that war and when he hears Combo bad-mouthing it, he takes a swing at him. Combo is impressed and sympathizes with Shaun. He tries to take over the group by making them choose if they want to take a stand and bring back England to it's rightful people. The group splits, half going with Combo and half with Woody.
Shaun chooses to go with Combo in hopes to make his father proud. He starts to look up to Combo as a father figure. They are pretty much inseparable. One day, Combo gets Woody's girlfriend Lol (Vicky McClure) alone to talk. He confesses his love for her and how the thought of her got him through his prison time. In return, she says that the night they spent together was the worst night of her life. Upset, Combo goes to Milky to buy weed. Although it starts out friendly enough, things take a drastic turn when Milky starts talking about his family.
I've been wanting to see this film ever since my old roommate showed me half of This is England '88 and was scared by the creepy deep breather (you'll have to watch to find out what I'm talking about). And since I forgot most of what '88 contained, it was great to see this from a fresh perspective. The relationship between Shaun and Woody/Combo was great. You can see the admiration he has for these characters shining through his eyes. Shaun in general was an amazing character from the get go. Sure he was kind of funny looking and a loner and a little bit of dweeb, but this kid won't take shit from anyone. I loved watching him the entire time. It was a little awkward at times though. Like his relationship with Smell. I have no idea how old she is suppose to be, but when you're more then a head taller than your boyfriend it's just weird. There were great bits of dialogue in there and the people seemed so genuine that I wanted to be their friends. Well, I wanted to be part of Woody's crowd anyway. And since you immediately like the characters, you are right there in the story with them and feel what they are feeling. I wish I knew more about Britain's history so I could understand all the little cultural trademarks or statements or even about the Falkland Wars (I feel dumb). The cinematography was great. They had beautiful wide shots that showcased a different look to England that we may not be familiar with. When they say that film is a visual storyteller, they are right and this movie did not disappoint.
Rating: ****
74. Hugo
This movie like I thought it would be. It's not a simple story about a boy and his robot.
Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is an orphan living in the walls of a train station in Paris. His mother died when he was young and his father died in a museum fire. His father and Hugo would often tinker with broken objects to fix them and the last thing they were working on was an automaton (aka robot). Hugo has been stealing from the toy shop in the train station to get the parts he needs to fix the automaton.
When he is caught in the act, the owner of the toy shop Georges (Ben Kingsley) finds his notebook filled with drawings on how to fix the automaton done by his father. Hugo tries desperately to get the notebook back including following Georges home and befriending his god-daughter Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz). Georges says he has to earn the notebook back by working in his shop. Isabelle gets caught up in the adventure of this boy who lives in the train station. She finds out about his automaton and it turns out she holds the key it needs to work.
They get the automaton working and it draws a picture of a rocket going into the moon's eye with the name George Melies on it. That's the name of the Georges that owns the toy shop. Turns out he is the famous George Melies that everyone thought died in the great war. He made hundreds of films and inspired numerous people into the world of imagination and cinema. However, he thought he lost all of his work and never wanted to speak of it again. Now it's up to Hugo to try and piece together the pieces and fix things.
Being a film nerd, of course I'm going to like this movie. Once I saw the name I knew who they were talking about because I did a report on him in high school, so it was great to see his films (or imitations for parts of the movie) once again. The movie looked beautiful. Scorsese sure does know what he is doing. The story was I think the biggest flaw. It seemed unfocused at times and I wasn't sure where it was going and what the point was.
Rating: ****
Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is an orphan living in the walls of a train station in Paris. His mother died when he was young and his father died in a museum fire. His father and Hugo would often tinker with broken objects to fix them and the last thing they were working on was an automaton (aka robot). Hugo has been stealing from the toy shop in the train station to get the parts he needs to fix the automaton.
When he is caught in the act, the owner of the toy shop Georges (Ben Kingsley) finds his notebook filled with drawings on how to fix the automaton done by his father. Hugo tries desperately to get the notebook back including following Georges home and befriending his god-daughter Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz). Georges says he has to earn the notebook back by working in his shop. Isabelle gets caught up in the adventure of this boy who lives in the train station. She finds out about his automaton and it turns out she holds the key it needs to work.
They get the automaton working and it draws a picture of a rocket going into the moon's eye with the name George Melies on it. That's the name of the Georges that owns the toy shop. Turns out he is the famous George Melies that everyone thought died in the great war. He made hundreds of films and inspired numerous people into the world of imagination and cinema. However, he thought he lost all of his work and never wanted to speak of it again. Now it's up to Hugo to try and piece together the pieces and fix things.
Being a film nerd, of course I'm going to like this movie. Once I saw the name I knew who they were talking about because I did a report on him in high school, so it was great to see his films (or imitations for parts of the movie) once again. The movie looked beautiful. Scorsese sure does know what he is doing. The story was I think the biggest flaw. It seemed unfocused at times and I wasn't sure where it was going and what the point was.
Rating: ****
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
73. The Toxic Avenger
It's been awhile since I've done a live blog, so here we go. Merry Christmas!
7:23 pm
It begins. The graphics and opening are amazing. I can tell this is going to be a great movie.
7:25
I'm confused. Is this the movie? They say this is the laser cut copy intro edition. Looks like someone made this with a home camera with a mask bought from a Halloween Express store. The main character Toxie is performing street shows for money. Too bad he isn't talented because he isn't making shit. I feel like the reporter is giving an equally bad performance.
7:27
Is this really the movie? Toxie is performing "tricks" for cocaine now. He just gave some to the intro reporter guy. I feel like I'm watching a short on youtube. Is this real life??
7:28
False alarm. That wasn't the movie. But it was sponsored by a Crack is Whack campaign. And now the movie is starting.
7:29
Melvin, I assume the main character, is extremely excited to mop up the floors in one of the weirdest gyms I've ever seen. Sweet work out montage opening. Wooo!! Nothing like making out and getting groped while at the gym. That's the best work out right?
7:30
Oooo fat girl at gym was eating ice cream sandwich. Now I want an ice cream sandwich.
7:31
"He's always got that shit eating grin on his face"
7:32
Melvin is really bad at mopping the floors. Some asswipe just had a major over reaction to his mopping. He basically pulled out his hair and screamed that he threw off his karma. The acting in this is HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT
7:34
Apparently $15 can reserve the whole gym for you for a night.
7:36
These hot tub dicks from earlier are racists that are out to hit people with their cars. It's part of a game and some are worth more points. Better drink in order to make this game more interesting. Kids on a bicycle are worth 28 points for some reason. I guess he's worth less points because he is wearing a helmet.
7:37
I hate to say it. But watching that kid get run over made me laugh. It's all because of the insane story line/plot mixed with the terrible camera work and acting.
7:39
Man this guy has a steroid problem. Also running over children on bikes is okay in this movie. As long as you go to church the next day.
7:40
Jesus. Doesn't this movie even have a point yet? I don't even know how to react to these scenes and how stupid they are. They just keep coming to fast. After some pointless scenes, the hot tub jerks have decided to try and sabotage Melvin. First plan of attack, have blondie seduce him.
7:42
Some toxic waste drivers decide to stop and park with their toxic waste in front of the gym, so they can do crack of course (does one do crack or do you smoke it? Shoot up? I'm behind on my drug knowledge I guess)
7:44
Back to evil plot. Blondie gave him a tutu and says he needs to wear it because it's pink and pink is her favorite color. Oh Jesus he is even wearing a pink unitard now and carrying his mop (can't leave home without it)
7:45
They tricked him into hugging and almost kissing a sheep so he decides to jump out of the second story window right into the toxic waste. Sooo many gross men in speedos right now. Where are all these people coming from. Apparently the whole town came to watch him get horribly disfigured by this toxic waste.
7:48
And now he's on fire. He ran home and locked himself in the bathroom while his mom sits outside knocking on the door to make sure he is okay. Gross. A framed picture of his mother in a heart is sitting next to him while he is in the bathtub.
7:49
Dumb bitch! Does smoke usually come from the bottom of the door when someone is all right? AND TOXIE IS BORN!! And mother is ecstatic because she thinks Melvin just had his balls drop.
7:51
I don't even know how to comment on this stuff. There is a group of three thugs, one in over the top 50s housewife attire drag), betting up a cop. One calls himself cigar head because he puts out cigars on peoples head. They are about to shoot him in the genitals. But Toxie, still in his tutu (but no pink unitard), comes to save the day. The drag queen fixes her make up during this.
7:54
There are some grade A special effects and sound effects going on. How have I never heard of this movie before? Good ole Toxie, cleaning up the streets with his... Mop?
7:59
I can feel my mind get dumber as I watch the sad monster montage. Where is Keanu Reeves to join him in feeding the pigeons? Toxie made a home in a junk yard but luckily managed to save the mommy picture from his bathroom to put in his new home.
8:02
Who ever thought this movie was a good idea? Better thought, what actor would think this is a great film that will benefit their career? I guess that explains the great performances in this movie.
8:04
What the F*ck!! They just killed a dog? Not cool, man, not cool.
8:07
Death by ice cream. Best way to go. Also, I wonder if this is what Sloth would have been like if Steven Spielberg didn't get involved.
8:10
Ooh boy. Did Toxie just get himself a love interest? I would think so by the soundtrack they are playing.
8:15
So he just went back to the gym for no apparent reason and is going on a killing rampage. This doesn't really make sense for his character, but most things in this movie don't make sense.
8:17
We finally see his face!!! I thought they might go the whole film without showing it.
8:18
"You can tell all you little scum friends that things are going to change in this town. I'm not just another pretty face"
8:22
Man this blind girl gets harassed a lot. Now there is a love montage between the two of them. Including many hit in the balls moments. Gross she makes steam come out of him. This has to be a comedy. There is no way this meant to be taken seriously. I think they just moved in together in his junk yard house so they can hula hoop and do other things that couples in love do.
8:25
I don't know about you but my first thoughts when being chased my a trash monster is to run into the basement that is littered with trash.
8:26
They did a terrible job dubbing this. The crying isn't even close to being synced up.
8:27
Wow I don't think I've ever seen someone beat an old lady like that before.
8:33
Did I miss something? Why did he just put that little person in the washing machine and turn it?
8:41
The mayor is sick of this vigilante and has called the governor who has assigned the National Guard to come and help kill Toxie. It's up to the townspeople to save him!
8:45
"You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts"
Summary:
This was a pretty terrible movie. The writing was bad. The acting was bad. The sound was horrendous. The camera work god awful. The make up. There's not even words for the make up. This is B Movies at it's finest because despite everything they did wrong, it was pretty entertaining. I would watch this movie again. In fact, I believe there are sequels to this movie. I hope they are just as terrible as this was.
Rating: ** (only because I laughed waaay to much during this movie)
7:23 pm
It begins. The graphics and opening are amazing. I can tell this is going to be a great movie.
7:25
I'm confused. Is this the movie? They say this is the laser cut copy intro edition. Looks like someone made this with a home camera with a mask bought from a Halloween Express store. The main character Toxie is performing street shows for money. Too bad he isn't talented because he isn't making shit. I feel like the reporter is giving an equally bad performance.
7:27
Is this really the movie? Toxie is performing "tricks" for cocaine now. He just gave some to the intro reporter guy. I feel like I'm watching a short on youtube. Is this real life??
7:28
False alarm. That wasn't the movie. But it was sponsored by a Crack is Whack campaign. And now the movie is starting.
7:29
Melvin, I assume the main character, is extremely excited to mop up the floors in one of the weirdest gyms I've ever seen. Sweet work out montage opening. Wooo!! Nothing like making out and getting groped while at the gym. That's the best work out right?
7:30
Oooo fat girl at gym was eating ice cream sandwich. Now I want an ice cream sandwich.
7:31
"He's always got that shit eating grin on his face"
7:32
Melvin is really bad at mopping the floors. Some asswipe just had a major over reaction to his mopping. He basically pulled out his hair and screamed that he threw off his karma. The acting in this is HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT
7:34
Apparently $15 can reserve the whole gym for you for a night.
7:36
These hot tub dicks from earlier are racists that are out to hit people with their cars. It's part of a game and some are worth more points. Better drink in order to make this game more interesting. Kids on a bicycle are worth 28 points for some reason. I guess he's worth less points because he is wearing a helmet.
7:37
I hate to say it. But watching that kid get run over made me laugh. It's all because of the insane story line/plot mixed with the terrible camera work and acting.
7:39
Man this guy has a steroid problem. Also running over children on bikes is okay in this movie. As long as you go to church the next day.
7:40
Jesus. Doesn't this movie even have a point yet? I don't even know how to react to these scenes and how stupid they are. They just keep coming to fast. After some pointless scenes, the hot tub jerks have decided to try and sabotage Melvin. First plan of attack, have blondie seduce him.
7:42
Some toxic waste drivers decide to stop and park with their toxic waste in front of the gym, so they can do crack of course (does one do crack or do you smoke it? Shoot up? I'm behind on my drug knowledge I guess)
7:44
Back to evil plot. Blondie gave him a tutu and says he needs to wear it because it's pink and pink is her favorite color. Oh Jesus he is even wearing a pink unitard now and carrying his mop (can't leave home without it)
7:45
They tricked him into hugging and almost kissing a sheep so he decides to jump out of the second story window right into the toxic waste. Sooo many gross men in speedos right now. Where are all these people coming from. Apparently the whole town came to watch him get horribly disfigured by this toxic waste.
7:48
And now he's on fire. He ran home and locked himself in the bathroom while his mom sits outside knocking on the door to make sure he is okay. Gross. A framed picture of his mother in a heart is sitting next to him while he is in the bathtub.
7:49
Dumb bitch! Does smoke usually come from the bottom of the door when someone is all right? AND TOXIE IS BORN!! And mother is ecstatic because she thinks Melvin just had his balls drop.
7:51
I don't even know how to comment on this stuff. There is a group of three thugs, one in over the top 50s housewife attire drag), betting up a cop. One calls himself cigar head because he puts out cigars on peoples head. They are about to shoot him in the genitals. But Toxie, still in his tutu (but no pink unitard), comes to save the day. The drag queen fixes her make up during this.
7:54
There are some grade A special effects and sound effects going on. How have I never heard of this movie before? Good ole Toxie, cleaning up the streets with his... Mop?
7:59
I can feel my mind get dumber as I watch the sad monster montage. Where is Keanu Reeves to join him in feeding the pigeons? Toxie made a home in a junk yard but luckily managed to save the mommy picture from his bathroom to put in his new home.
8:02
Who ever thought this movie was a good idea? Better thought, what actor would think this is a great film that will benefit their career? I guess that explains the great performances in this movie.
8:04
What the F*ck!! They just killed a dog? Not cool, man, not cool.
8:07
Death by ice cream. Best way to go. Also, I wonder if this is what Sloth would have been like if Steven Spielberg didn't get involved.
8:10
Ooh boy. Did Toxie just get himself a love interest? I would think so by the soundtrack they are playing.
8:15
So he just went back to the gym for no apparent reason and is going on a killing rampage. This doesn't really make sense for his character, but most things in this movie don't make sense.
8:17
We finally see his face!!! I thought they might go the whole film without showing it.
8:18
"You can tell all you little scum friends that things are going to change in this town. I'm not just another pretty face"
8:22
Man this blind girl gets harassed a lot. Now there is a love montage between the two of them. Including many hit in the balls moments. Gross she makes steam come out of him. This has to be a comedy. There is no way this meant to be taken seriously. I think they just moved in together in his junk yard house so they can hula hoop and do other things that couples in love do.
8:25
I don't know about you but my first thoughts when being chased my a trash monster is to run into the basement that is littered with trash.
8:26
They did a terrible job dubbing this. The crying isn't even close to being synced up.
8:27
Wow I don't think I've ever seen someone beat an old lady like that before.
8:33
Did I miss something? Why did he just put that little person in the washing machine and turn it?
8:41
The mayor is sick of this vigilante and has called the governor who has assigned the National Guard to come and help kill Toxie. It's up to the townspeople to save him!
8:45
"You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts"
Summary:
This was a pretty terrible movie. The writing was bad. The acting was bad. The sound was horrendous. The camera work god awful. The make up. There's not even words for the make up. This is B Movies at it's finest because despite everything they did wrong, it was pretty entertaining. I would watch this movie again. In fact, I believe there are sequels to this movie. I hope they are just as terrible as this was.
Rating: ** (only because I laughed waaay to much during this movie)
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