** Parental Guidance for comments below.**
2:37 pm
The movie as started and I am already annoyed because the title does not make sense!! Also I thought this was a German movie, so why are they speaking English? Dammit Netflix! Stop lying!
2:39 pm
It seems like they are trying to imitate Night of the Living Dead. Now add shitty diagrams and a zombie that walks more like a toddler or someone who got punched in the face.
2:42 pm
For a zombie, he sure does have a lot of color in his face. Are you sure he is a zombie? Maybe he is just really hung over. He does sound like he is trying to spite out some prose. But it could just be his German accent.
2:47 pm
What?!?! Why are you making out with that zombie and or dead guy? This may be the first gay zombie kiss I've ever seen. I'm so confused what this movie is about. I feel like Sprockets decided to make a zombie film. This may be amazing. I can't tell yet.
2:53 pm
Ohhh man. Another gay zombie kiss. I guess zombies want love too. These zombies really get turned on by eating each other out.. literally (did I just take it too far). And I kind of want to puke.
2:59 pm
I'm not sure why, but I get the feeling they are trying to use every style of film genres ever invented. Including silent films. That's right for some reason a character has been introduced and speaks in subtitles. When are they going to have the musical break?
3:01 pm
Otto ponders why he doesn't want to eat human flesh even though he craves it. Perhaps its because they make all the people look like fat Americans stuffing there face with greasy fast food. Maybe I got my appetite back.
3:04 pm
How much longer?
3:05 pm
I'm just waiting for these zombies to push everything off the table and start gut fuc*ing again. Gahhhh.
3:06 pm
Ok. So they just said that zombies was the gay plague. I guess that makes a little bit more sense why all the characters are gay but WHAT?! This movie makes no sense.
3:10 pm
Sooo... this guy just got picked up in under 5 minutes. He didn't even say his name. In fact he didn't even say one word. Is it really that easy for gay men to hook up?
3:18 pm
Did Otto just find his new best friend? Oops guess not. Ate the cat.
3:27 pm
Do I smell a plot actually starting? Finally this film seems to have some sort of story/point to it other than all gay people are zombies.
3:34 pm
So they are filming this zombie film in the movie with a bolex and I'm guessing 100' reels. But the camera is always rolling during her long drawn out speeches that she calls directing. They would totally run out of film during every single take. Oooo movie magic (and sorry for being a nerd).
3:37 pm
An Americans suck rant. Thank you. We get it. You hate Americans. You can stop now and get one with the story. What little story you have that is.
3:46 pm
Might have fallen asleep for a few minutes. But I'm not going to rewind. Woke up just in time for some more gay zombie sex. It's ok I haven't missed much of the story. They are just watching the documentary they had been making. You know, the one we have been watching them make. It's very important for us to see most of these scenes again.
3:51 pm
Shyamalan Twist! I won't ruin it for you.
3:57 pm
The final scene for the documentary. I feel like I stumbled upon fetish porn. I'm not even sure what I am watching but I know my virgin eyes will never be the same. I feel dirty.
4:06 pm
FREEZE FRAME ENDING!! Seriously!?!?!
What did I just watch. Ughhh. I put it in my cue because it sounded like a really bad version of Warm Bodies. I would never recommend anyone to watch it. Unless you secretly love zombie porn then go for it. I feel bad for anyone even reading this. I also want to apologize to my roommate for making him watch it with me. He has no idea how it even ended up on Netflix. I don't want to hate on the gay community because I've seen my fair share of gay and lesbian movies, but this was done in terrible taste. However, I do like the happy song they play throughout the movie. And they have a pretty good tagline. "Bringing sexy back... from the dead".
Rating: * (based on Netflix ratings I have to give it something)
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