Fun Fact: According to an online quiz I took almost ten years ago, Bill Cosby and I are 99% compatible.
4:17 pm
It begins. Also, I don't think there is a part 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 so don't bother looking for them.
4:19 pm
Jan De Bont was the cinematographer??? Maybe it will have some good action sequences then.
Also the movie is starting with Bill Cosby riding an ostrich and ballet dancing and then cuts to a Robin Lynch like narrator. Oh, they just said parts 1-5 were confiscated. That explains why we are on part 6.
4:21 pm
Cosby seems to be questioning a fish if he has seen a man. I'm assuming it's the bad guy. And the fish seems to be barking at him. OO wait, Cosby sent the piranha to go after the CIA agent not the bad guy and I don't think it was Cosby that sent him.
4:24 pm
Learned that Leonard (Cosby) is a retired CIA agent that has since opened a restaurant. The CIA wants him to come back to figure out who is killing off CIA agents.
4:27 pm
The other agents have died at the hands of house cats, squirrels, gophers, tuna, and other animals. The mind behind these heinous crimes is Medusa (Gloria Foster) a vegetarian. You just can't trust those vegetarians I guess.
4:33 pm
Classic Bill Cosby intimidation as he meets his daughter's boyfriend, who is in his 50s or 60s. His daughter is only 20 years old.
4:36 pm
Medusa's evil lair seems to be inside a Tuna factory that is run by buff male ballerinas? I'm just guessing based on their outfits. No dancing yet. Outside the tuna factory a CIA agent is doing surveillance while fogs surround him. Another animal attack?
4:37pm
The frogs have picked up the CIA car and are literally hopping it into the river.
4:41 pm
Leonard is going to try and win back his wife after seven years apart. He finally got her to meet with him and now there is a makeover montage. Why does this remind me of Dumb and Dumber?
4:49 pm
The date seemed to be going well, until she decided to start spilling everything onto him. First it seemed like a clumsy accident but is getting more intentional as the dinner goes on. Yup she just shoved a whole plate of shrimp in his face. What a waste.
4:52 pm
Leonard decides to go back to work, but first has to go to a psychic, who doesn't seem to speak any English. She gives him a pair of ballet slippers and what appears to be an engagement ring. Could he possibly get back together with his wife at the end?
4:57 pm
Leonard discreetly breaks in to Tuna International by driving his car/tank (that's right, a car tank combo) through the fence and then blowing up the front door. Or at least trying to. He is just throwing grenades everywhere. This is suppose to be the best CIA agent?
5:00 pm
Oh Jesus. Her evil henchmen called the vegetarians are men dressed as animals with metal claws, talons, beaks, etc. They also are dancers. Good thing he brought those ballet slippers the psychic game him. Who knew Bill Cosby was such a graceful ballerina.
5:04 pm
Leonard is fighting the vegetarians and winning. I don't know if this is considered animal cruelty or not but something just doesn't seem right.
5:05 pm
The engagement ring box does not contain a ring, but rather a bee. He uses the bee to seduce the other bees so that they attack the guards that are after Leonard. He gets away with some sphere thing from Medusa that she needs for her evil plans. I keep expecting Ace Ventura to show up at any minute to help save the day.
5:12 pm
Leonard goes to his daughter's play where she proceeds to get naked in the show for no apparent reason. Ooooo bad plays.
5:15 pm
The bad guys took his wife (ex-wife?) and won't give her back til he returns the sphere.
5:16 pm
BUNNY ATTACK!!!
5:18 pm
I think we are getting to the exciting conclusion so I will just have random comments starting now... Why is the Partridge Family bus chasing down Leonard?!?!
5:20 pm
Have you seen Troll 2? How else are you going to defeat vegetarians?
5:25 pm
Hehe nutcrackers?
5:26 pm
Is that melted butter in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
5:31 pm
Now I've eaten my fair share of raw hot dogs and I don't think that ever happened to me.
5:34 pm
Annnd the beginning now makes sense.
5:37 pm
Gahhhh!! Freeze Frame endings!!! NOOO!!
This was a bad movie. And not a good bad movie just a bad strange movie. Not the worst movie I have ever seen though.
Rating: *
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