77. Immortals

Phaedra (Frieda Pinto), a virgin oracle, has a vision of a man releasing the Titans from their underground prison to destroy the world.  Turns out that man is King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke).  He is making his way across Greece, destroying every temple and shrine while he searches for the Epirus Bow.  The Epirus Bow is a bow with magical bomb like arrows that keep appearing every time you pull back the string (sorry I'm not up to date on archery terms).  He comes across a small village where Theseus (Henry Cavill) lives with his mother.  Theseus is taught to fight by a mysterious old man, who turns out to be Zeus disguised as a human.  Hyperion takes over the village and goes on a killing rampage.  He kills Theseus's mother right in front of him and then captures Theseus to be his slave, among others.

While being held captive, Theseus meets Stavros (Stephen Dorff), a theif, and Phaedra, who was also taken captive.  She organizes an escape where they head back to the small village.  Phaedra has a vision of Hyperion and Theseus standing arm and arm over a covered dead body.  She takes this as a sign to give his mother a proper burial.  When Theseus is putting her body in the tomb, he comes across the Epirus Bow.  Suddenly, Theseus is being attacked by the Minotaur (Robert Maillet).  Theseus struggles but manages to cut off his head, but not before being scratched.  Turns out the scratches are poisonous.  Phaedra nurses him back to health and obviously falls in love with him.  She climbs into his bed and asks him to take her virginity so that she won't be cursed with visions of the future anymore. 

When he is healed, they head to Mount Tartaus, where the inevitable final battle will take place.  Along they way they are ambushed and outnumbered by Hyperion's men.  The Gods decide to intervene, against Zues's (Luke Evans) will, but during the fight they loose the Epirus Bow to Hyperion.  They rush to Mount Tartaus to prepare the city and leaders for the battle. 

I don't know if it's the names, but I have trouble getting into Greek War/Mythology movies.  If you were to ask me half way what was going on I would say something to the lines of Klaus from Vampire Diaries got mad at Superman and became a traitor to help capture the Slumdog girl for his new jacked up Wrestler king.  However, it was a pretty film to watch.  I wish I could just live inside a Tarsem film.  But without all the death and gore and wars.  I loved the fight between the Gods and the Titans.  There were a few odd transitions and at times I didn't get why some things were going in slow motion while others seem perfectly natural (in the same shot).  I didn't care too much for the story and I think that girl was crazy to give up her visions.  Can you please wait until after the war where all humanity could get destroyed is over? 

Rating: **

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VdONYkKFmQ